ugly words [UsUk]

Chapter 16

((I feel rather quite guilty about leaving the story off like that, so I'm back and I'm gonna finish it. I won't carry it for long, though. Something about this story just makes me feel kind of anxious, makes me remember things I've done in this fandom, as well as things I did because of this fandom. This chapter won't be long, as my story actually was close to its end. As for any of you going through a hard time, please... Get help. I look back on how unhappy I was, but now... The world is truly beautiful, and I can't wait to see more of it. Keep living my friends, keep speaking those words, ugly or not.))

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England felt like he was going to explode. So many words, so many feelings were swarming inside of him and he just wanted to scream. But, he couldn't. And he didn't know why.

He started to panic. He was shaking in America's arms, saw the younger country shouting something at him, but he didn't listen to those words.

He just wanted to tell America how beautiful he was. He wanted to laugh and tease him for something, anything really. It didn't matter.

"England, come on, dude," America whined, holding him close, "It's okay. We'll get you help. You're okay. I got you."

England opened his mouth and he screamed. His voice was quiet and deep and he started coughing and choking and his eyes squeezed shut and he trembled. His hands reached out for America and grabbed on tight, not wanting to let go. His voice came out strangled, not sounding like any word in existence.

He didn't make any sense, but America knew exactly what he meant. "I know, I know. We both need help," he laughed half-heartedly, still shaken up, "You'll find your voice. I'm sure you will..."

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FIVE MONTHS LATER

It's kind of a small house.

A mossy, English cottage, but don't tell America that. He may adore the country with all his heart, but he's still got his American pride.

America likes sunflowers, has a whole bunch of them in the front yard, going all the way around the house, which may not sound like a lot but these things are huge.

England's got some gnomes and by "some", a lot of gnomes. Like an army of gnomes. England's military is a bunch of gnomes.

England's out in the yard with America, both fiddling around. Not fiddling, not quite, though. They take the garden deathly seriously, one should not say "fiddling." However, with how much America runs around, it looks like fiddling.

England's sprawled out on the ground, two gnomes in hand. America leans over, laughs at him, seeing as how he looks like he's playing with ten as a child would play with barbies. England catches sight of this, rolls his eyes.

"Why yes, Ken, I would love to go to the dance with you!"

....

$15 dollars wasted of the two gnomes (buy two for the price of one! What a sale!) as they go crashing into the ground. America is sprinting before crashing into England.

"Not the prettiest of words, but we made progress, huh, England?"

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WELLL THAT FEELS SATISFYING

Done, forever. I'm so out of this fandom because it hurts so much, but I still appreciate that chapter of my life. Heh. Chapter.

Seriously tho I was so depressed during those times and I used hetalia as a coping mechanism and some other non healthy ways to deal.

Guys, there's so many ways to deal with anxiety, pain, and stress. Don't choose a way that's harmful.

If you genuinely want the pain to stop, think rationally. Hit the problem head on. It's gonna hurt, and you just gotta be strong. If you're weak, build you strength.

I took it literally. I workout all the time. Now, I know most of you guys are like "ew physical stuff gross" but it's actually kinda super fun. I enjoy it. coughs I watch supernatural while running on a treadmill at the gym hAH. occasionally anime but sometimes a weird scene happens and idk what people think about that.

Running is really fun, maybe try and pick up a team. Cross country is loads of fun, and so is raider. So if your school has an xc team or a jrotc program, consider joining. It's an easy way to make a bunch of friends, and you barely have to try. They like flock to you.

Anyways, eating is super important. Like, really really really super dooper looper important. Fun fact for you: the human body should eat every two hours or else it goes into starving mode! It slows down your metabolism and stuff so like have a lil snack every so often. If you're so worried about gaining weight, just eat when you're hungry (not when you're just bored), and Google or ask your doctor your reccomend es weight. This weight should be determined by your age, height, and some other factors going in.

also can I just say it's ok to have some pounds!!!!!! as long as your weight doesn't affect your health, there's no huge reason for you to change. Only change yourself if you want to, not for anyone else. Be safe, guys. There's a lot of cool stuff out there, and you deserve to see it. I had this cotton candy snow cone the other day and it was fantastic! I wrote this story a long long time ago and it took me like a year to come back and my way of seeing stuff has changed quite a bit....

Speak those words, even if they are ugly.