Chapter 13

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Text Chat – [That One Puppy Aegyo 🥀🚬]

JAKE:
Tell me why I just danced for 6 hours straight and I think I saw Jesus doing pirouettes in the corner of the room

HYEONJU:
LMFAOOOO
He probably judged your footwork 💀

JAKE:
RUDE.
My footwork was sexy and tragic at the same time.

HYEONJU:
So... like a tap-dancing flamingo?

JAKE:
Exactly that 😔🦩
I need someone to carry me. I no longer possess bones.

HYEONJU:
sending this to the Nobel Peace Prize committee

Image sent: A meme of a skeleton collapsed on the dance floor with “me after trying to vibe with life” written on it

JAKE:
You’re actually a menace 😭
But also thank you I’m wheezing

HYEONJU:
ur welcome
me: literally doing my job as ur emotional support meme dealer

JAKE:
You’re doing amazing, sweetie

Image sent: Kris Jenner with a camcorder

HYEONJU:
gonna add that to my resume under “valuable life skills”

JAKE:
Dead serious
I’d give you a raise but I’m broke in morale not money

HYEONJU:
ok mr. celebrity
anyway drink water u dehydrated piece of fame

JAKE:
Not the “piece of fame” 😭😭😭

HYEONJU:
i said what i said

JAKE:
Also… so like.
Funny story. Kind of. Not really.

HYEONJU:
what did u do now
did u fall off a speaker again

JAKE:
NO that was ONE TIME and I SURVIVED
but uh
I just got the official schedule.

HYEONJU:
uh oh
should I sit down
are you about to tell me you’re starring in a webdrama called “My Idol Roommate is a Vampire Barista”?

JAKE:
Honestly I would watch that.
But no.
We’re going on tour.

HYEONJU:
:O
wait fr? omg that’s huge!!!

JAKE:
Yeah. America. For like… 2 or 3 weeks.
We leave in a bit over a week.

HYEONJU:
YO THAT’S CRAZY
you’re gonna kill it though omg
like pls the fans aren’t ready

JAKE:
I’m lowkey excited
but also not ready to time zone myself into emotional ruin

HYEONJU:
you: trying to text me from a hotel room in Chicago like “why is it 3am here and 5pm in my soul”

JAKE:
Accurate
Also I just realized…
This means I won’t get to see you for like… weeks

HYEONJU:
:(
now that u say it like that it hits harder than my college loans

JAKE:
I’ll try to call and stuff
But I might be like, semi-dead every night

HYEONJU:
i get it, jake
go conquer the world and stuff
but also: I will spam you with cursed memes daily. That’s non-negotiable.

JAKE:
I expect nothing less
You’re my anti-burnout weapon of choice 😌

HYEONJU:
damn right
now go drink water or i’m sending u a meme of a sad, dry cactus labeled “jake rn”

JAKE:
Why is that so specific
Also okay fine
Hydrating now. You win.

HYEONJU:
i always do 😌

JAKE:
Also
thanks for making me laugh today
I was actually kinda… stressed

HYEONJU:
anytime, flamingo boy
go rest your bones
we’ll deal with time zones later

JAKE:
Deal.
Goodnight, Hyeonju

HYEONJU:
Goodnight, puppy aegyo guy 🥀🚬

JAKE:
STOPPPPP WITH THAT

HYEONJU:
no 🙂‍↔️

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Changed the texting style cuz it pmo so bad with the long ass contact names 😞😞😞

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