Between Pastries & Binary Codes | CaptainxTae

♡ 1. ♡

His friend was undoubtedly very handsome- he always knew that.

Sometimes he wondered what his lips tasted like and how soft they were, or what it would feel like to hold his hand- but he brushed any such questions all off immediately. Buried and locked deep in the pits of his heart and threw away the key.

Because it's one thing to be attracted to a man and be hate crimed on by society, and another for that man to be your best friend- which added layers upon layers of complexity and the potential of losing him forever.

Tae swore he'd never let himself look at Captain that way, yet here he is, feeling like his heart has been broken as he watched Captain be intimately close with his first love like nothing's ever happened.

"I gotta go." he blurted out before bolting out the door and sprinting to his car. Once inside, he clutched his chest in hopes the sting would subside, but it didn't work.

Tae you can do this. Don't let it consume you. You don't see him that way.

He tried to calm his racing heart but it was of no use. Tears pooled in his eyes and finally the dam broke.

He couldn't deny it any longer. Seeing them together broke something in him and all the hurt came flooding through.

Why did he have to have feelings for his best friend? Why couldn't it be someone else? This is torture and the worst part is he's willing to live with it as long as he has him back.

He'd compromise with a friendship, as he had all these years, if only Captain came back to him. He was the biggest idiot in the world, how could he ever say such cruel things to him? The mere thought of losing him forever seemed unbearable.

He didn't want to go home anymore, it felt suffocating. The walls would come crashing down on him if he spent even a minute longer alone in that place.

Their place.

Was it even theirs anymore? Captain might just move out and move in with his ex-new boyfriend instead.

He aimlessly drove around for hours, blasting sad, heartbreaking music and crying all over his newly cleaned car like he's filming a damn music video.

Eventually he had to return home, work didn't have time to wait for him to process his heartbreak. He's already behind after spending all day roaming the city for no particular reason, except his gasoline bill reaching record high numbers.

Tae found himself unable to concentrate on his work though. He had to pause after every other line he wrote as his endless intruding thoughts were entirely consumed by Captain.

Flashes of his excitement as he narrated every moment of his day took over all his brain power and rendered him useless. He didn't realize how much he depended on Captain's bubbly personality to get through his days.

The way his beautiful eyes twinkled with joy, his lips constantly sporting a pretty smile and his laugh- the most gorgeous sound Tae has ever heard, tormented him with a newfound sense of guilt.

He found himself constantly staring at the front door, hoping he's just gonna barge in and start ranting like he always did.

But that never happened.

It's a miracle he wasn't fired after messing up his assignments multiple times during this period.

He's reached a new low by this point, mechanically going through the motions like nothing mattered anymore.

And nothing did. Not without him around.

Crying over their potentially lost friendship didn't help whatsoever. But that didn't stop him from overthinking the second his head hit the pillow every night.