How I Learned to Live Again

Chapter 9

While I sleep I dream of moving. In my dream, I'm with Aron and we're walking through a field, laughing. We're so happy, and we hold hands as he leans in for a kiss. Suddenly, the sky opens up and a warm rain starts coming down on us. We laugh as we start running for shelter, and he scoops me up in his strong arms as we hide under a huge elm tree. I kiss him again. And then, the dream turns to a nightmare. Lightning starts crashing down, and it strikes Aron. As he falls, I do too, and I land on the cold, soaking wet ground. As I try to get up, I can't do it. I can't move. I'm paralyzed.

"Jessa? Hey, Jessa, wake up." I hear a concerned voice calling me as I blink into consciousness. I see Aron's blurry figure standing over my bed looking concerned.

"Are you alright? You were crying in your sleep."

"Uh...I was having a bad dream," I respond. "But I'm okay now."

"Can I sit down?" Aron points to the bed. I nod. He moves my legs over a bit and sits next me.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look really shaken up."

My eyes widen at his compassion. "Well. I just had a dream and it was really nice, but then I fell or something and I couldn't get up and I was paralyzed. I can't even escape it in my dreams." My words trail off and tears start streaming down my face.

"Oh, Jessa," Aron takes my hand and rubs comforting circles on it with his thumb. "You're going to get through this. You're going to be able to live again, okay? I'm going to help you." I smile and try to stop crying. "Thank you," I say. We sit in silence for a minute, him still holding my hand. After a moment he seems to become aware of himself holding my hand and takes it away. He coughs uncomfortably.

"Hey, do you want to do something cool?" Aron asks me, lightening the mood.

"Yeah, I do, but I can't exactly do anything exciting here, so,"I answer sarcastically.

"Well, see this thing here?" Aron gestures to something hanging from the ceiling off a track. "It basically helps you stand upright, and you can even try walking after you get the hang of it. It'll help get your muscles moving too." He looks excitedly at me. It's so cute how much he gets excited about the stuff he does every day. It will feel really great to stand, though.

"Yeah, definitely."

"Oh, and I forgot to tell you, but your parents are at home. They're gonna come back in a few days. They wanted me to tell you."

"Oh. Alright." I feel bad for keeping them away from home for so long. I wonder how my cats are. I want to go home and see them so badly.

"Okay. So I'm gonna lift you up without the hoist, it's just gonna be easier," Aron starts. "And then I'm going to sit you down in a chair and get the standing machine attached to you. Then, we'll go from there. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds great." I smile.
"Cool. So I'm going to start by getting you sitting up."

Aron presses the button and my back is pushed up to a seated position. "Now, I'm going to put your legs over the side of the bed." He thinks. "Actually, you can do that while I start setting the machine up." I work on putting my legs over the side, but I can't because my torso is too far back.

"I can't do it," I complain. Aron walks back over to me and kneels by my bedside while he puts my legs over the side. Simultaneously, he's holding up my neck and back.

"Now I'm going to lift you up, okay?" Aron puts one arm on my back and one under my legs, and scoops me up - like in my dream. I can't help but stare at him as he moves me into a chair. He really is beautiful. He gets me into a chair against the wall and puts his strong hand around my waist to keep my steady. He then attaches some straps around my arms and a harness under and around my legs. It reminds me of when I went bungee jumping. I guess I'll never do that again, huh. There's a lot of things I've been realizing that I'm never, ever going to do again.

"Alright." Aron pulls me out of my thinking. "Let's see if we can get you standing, okay?" I nod, kind of scared. I haven't stood up in over 3 months.

Aron begins to lift me out of the chair. As soon as I get to a standing position I feel myself succumbing to the familiar wave of nausea, and bile comes up into my hand.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I should've known," Aron apologized as he sits me back down cautiously. He rushes to get some paper towels and disinfectants to clean up the mess. When he's done he gets back up and looks sympathetically at me.

"No, I should have warned you. I'm sorry," I respond. "I'm fine. I want to try again."

He eyes me questioningly and agrees. "Alright...I'll have to lift you up slower this time, though." I nod and laugh.

"Yeah, probably." We try again. I get to a full standing position, and let me tell you, it feels great. I hold onto the ropes that extend from the ceiling. It's weird that even though I know I'm standing up, if I closed my eyes I'd have no idea. I still haven't really wrapped my head around that - how something like this even happens.

"Great Jessa! You're doing amazing!" I hear Aron say from behind me. I grin and momentarily let go of the ropes to do a little happy dance with my hands.

"Now what I'm going to do is sit in this rolling chair," he gestures to one behind me, "And help you move your legs so you can walk again. Sound good?" I nod enthusiastically.

"Sounds amazing." I can't believe I ever took walking for granted. Well, actually, I can, but now that's it's been taken away, it's hard to see that it was ever so easy.

"You got this, Jessa. I believe in you, okay? This is gonna be really hard but you can do it." Aron may not be the most eloquent all the time, but he certainly always knows the right thing to say. He sits down in the rolling chair and I see him put his legs around my calves. Then he pushes forward the tiniest bit, dragging my dead limbs along the ground. I laugh. "I'm moving!" I hear him laugh gleefully with me as we continue, very slowly, moving forward. Wow. This is really a great feeling. The best I've had in a long time. And all thanks to Aron!

When we're done, he carries me back to the bed from across the room where the walking machine attachment to the ceiling ends. He holds me up as he unclips all the latches. My neck is still throwing itself back, and I hate not being able to control it. But at least I walked! I moved! He begins to carry me back to the bed. And then...he drops me. As I fall to the floor, I hit my head and feel a welt immediately begin to form.

"Oh shit. Oh my God. Jessa. I'm...are you alright? I nod and grimace when my head rubs on the tile. "Ow."

Aron leans down over me to lift me back up, starting with my neck and back. We stay like that for a moment too long, kind of just looking at each other. And then, so quickly I almost miss it, he leans in and kisses me.

I've had one boyfriend, ever. His name was Andrew and he couldn't kiss for his life. But Aron is different. This is amazing. But it ends too soon.

"I'm sorry," Aron stumbles over his words, "Um. I shouldn't have done that. I'm gonna go." He quickly puts me back in bed and puts the sheets over my legs. As he turns to leave, I stop him.

"Aron?" He turns. "You don't need to be sorry. That was...amazing." He smiles at me, that gleaming, beautiful smile of his. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jessa." With that, he leaves.

I can't stop smiling for the rest of the night. I'm happier than I have been since my accident and it's all thanks to Aron. I can't wait to see him again.

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*chanting* I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WRITE A LOVE STORY
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