Inheritance of ash

hijack

Gone.

"W-where's my car?" Tony asked, voice a little higher than it should've been. He turned in a full circle, eyes scanning the garage like he expected it to walk in by itself.

Thor tilted his head. "Is it... not supposed to be invisible?"

"NO, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE INVISIBLE," Tony snapped.

Clint was already snorting, holding back a laugh. "You sure you didn't loan it out to one of your other emotional support sidekicks?"

"I would NEVER loan out the Lamborghini. I would sooner LOAN OUT MY KIDNEYS."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

Sam walked over, squinting. "So... you think it was stolen?"

Tony's jaw worked. He stomped forward, hands on hips. "JARVIS!"

A beat. Then:
"Yes, Mr. Stark?"

"Where. Is. My. Lamborghini."

A pause. Longer than usual.

"I'm afraid... I'm not permitted to say."

The entire room froze.

"...Excuse me?" Tony said, slowly. "Did you just say not permitted to say?"

Bruce blinked. "JARVIS has secrecy parameters now?"

"Apparently," Clint muttered, half-impressed.

Tony turned to glare at the ceiling like it personally betrayed him. "Who overrode you?"

Another pause. A reluctant one.

"...Miss Vale, sir."

There was a silence. One of those brief, historical silences, the kind that fill the room when someone drops the One Ring into Mount Doom or when Mjolnir moves a quarter inch.

"...VICKY?!" Tony bellowed, gesturing wildly. "VICKY VALE OVERRODE JARVIS?! Who even taught her how?! I didn't teach her how!"

Clint's eyes sparkled. "Well, she is your kid."

"SHE'S GROUNDED!" Tony snapped. "GROUND. ED. For LIFE. I don't care if she cured cancer with that car, I—" he rubbed his temples. "This is bad. This is very bad. How did she even figure out the root voice chain?"

"Didn't she shadow you in the lab for a while?" Bruce offered helpfully.

"One day! That was supposed to be educational! Not 'steal-my-most-prized-possessional'!"

Thor, who had been silently studying the empty space, suddenly burst out in laughter. Loud, booming laughter that echoed around the garage.

"Oh, she is truly your kin, Stark! I am delighted!"

"She's not my—well, yes, technically she is kinda my—but that's not—no—don't encourage her!"

Clint clapped Tony on the back. "Come on. Deep down you're proud."

"I am not!" Tony huffed.

"You are a little proud," Natasha said with a knowing smirk.

"I am mostly angry," Tony corrected sharply. "Furious. Apocalyptic. She's dead. She's dead to me. I will remove every battery-powered device from her room. She will live like it's 1893."

Bruce chuckled under his breath. "You're gonna kill her over ice cream?"

Tony blinked. "...Wait, ice cream?"

Natasha's smirk deepened. "Yelena was talking about craving some this morning. Pretty sure she roped Vicky in."

"And Peter," Clint added. "And Wanda. And Pietro. And Kate, probably. Though if Yelena's involved, Kate might've fainted."