S.H.I.P.

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Group Chat Name:
"S.H.I.P. — Strategic Holiday Interference Program"
(Created by: Kate Bishop)
Members: Kate, Vicky, Peter, Wanda, Pietro

Vicky:
Okay, recruits. You've been summoned for one sacred purpose.
Steve.
Natasha.
MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.

Kate:
Vicky's already been briefed. I caught them on the roof last night.
Talking missions. A kiss came up.
And it wasn't casual. It was loaded.

Vicky:
He brought it up HIMSELF.
That's like Steve-Rogers-level emotional fireworks.

Peter:
Wait wait wait.
What kiss

Wanda:
Are we really doing this again

Kate:
Mission. Mall. Hydra. Escalator. Boom.
Undercover. Smooch. Confusion. Longing.
Probably unresolved tension for like... a decade.

Pietro:
Escalator kiss??
Man I miss everything around here.

Peter:
But didn't they say it was for the mission?

Vicky:
Of course they said that.
They always say that.
It's called emotional denial, Parker. Look it up.

Kate:
Anyway, they were definitely having a Moment.
And now it's Christmas.
It's time.

Wanda:
Time for what exactly?

Vicky:
Mistletoe. Forced proximity. Shared cocoa.
Romance sabotage. General holiday meddling.

Kate:
We already planned half of it.
We put them on lights duty together.
We'll "accidentally" make them partners for secret santa.
We've rigged the playlist with nostalgic jazz.

Peter:
Okay but are we sure they don't know we're doing this?

Pietro:
Yeah, cause it sounds a lot like a Hallmark ambush in progress.

Kate:
That's the goal.

Vicky:
We go full cozy sabotage.
If I see either of them standing alone under a doorway, I'm hanging mistletoe myself.

Peter:
So you two already planned everything???

Vicky:
Oh this has been in motion since last night.
We're just looping you in for field assignments.

Peter:
I literally just wanted cocoa.

Wanda:
Welcome to Christmas at Stark Tower.
You get cocoa, conspiracies, and possibly matchmaking jail.

Pietro:
I want tree-decorating duty with the chance to "accidentally" shove them into each other.

Vicky:
That's the spirit!

Peter:
How am I supposed to focus on this after the mistletoe thing with me...

Wanda:
Ah yes. The great Cheek Kiss of 2025.

Kate:
You're fine, Peter. Just nod at whatever Vicky says and you'll stay in her good graces.

Peter:
I do that anyway.

Vicky:
Flawless strategy.

Pietro:
If they kiss before Christmas Eve, who's buying me pizza?

Kate:
If they kiss before Christmas, I'll buy everyone pizza.

Vicky:
You think that's bold?
If they kiss before New Year's, I'm getting them matching mugs that say "We Were Spies Once."

Peter:
Can mine say "I survived Operation SHIP"?

Wanda:
Only if you stop texting like you're under duress.

Peter:
No promises.

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