''~°.HIDE AND SEEK.°~'' | YEONGYU

THE BEGINNING #2

And Yeonjun.

"The moment you panic, they'll tear you apart."

Even now, the words echoed in his mind. The weight of that gaze...steady, unflinching. It had been the only thing keeping him from shattering in front of everyone.

But here, alone in the dark, no one was holding him together.

The first thought came quiet....

"Why does it feel like it's my fault?"

Then sharper...

"Was it?"

The memory of Hyunjoo's voice flashed in his mind...taunting, sneering. The same voice that had followed him through hallways for years.

And now it was gone.

He should've felt relief, right? But all he felt was heavy. Dirty. Wrong.

"He's dead because of me."

"No. That's stupid. He's not—"

"But everyone thinks it. Don't they? I heard them whispering."

The panic rose again, hot and fast. His breaths came too quick, too shallow. His chest burned like it was caught in a vise.

And then it hit. Abrupt and brutal.

"It should've been me instead."

The thought slammed into him like a freight train, leaving his stomach lurching.

"If it had been me, no one would care. Not the school. Not the cops. Not even—"

His fingers twisted into the blanket, gripping it so tight his knuckles ached.

"I've been nothing but a problem since the day I was born.

I should've been the one they found..."

Tears blurred his vision, hot and unrelenting. He pressed his face into the pillow to smother the sound, but a choked sob escaped anyway. His whole body shook as he tried to curl smaller, as if he could vanish into the thin mattress.

"Pathetic."

"You couldn't fight back. Couldn't stand up for yourself. Couldn't stop any of it. And now look at you...crying like a child, alone in a rotting apartment no one even knows you live in."

The memory of laughter pierced through the noise...Yeonjun's laugh.

His chest heaved again, though this time not with panic. Something else pressed against his ribs...an ache he couldn't name.

Yeonjun's face wouldn't leave his mind.

Years ago, when they were just kids...that face had been different. Softer. Bright eyes crinkled in laughter. A grin wide enough to light up rainy afternoons.

The memory came uninvited.

It had been pouring that day. The kind of rain that turned the world silver and made the streets into mirrors.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun were soaked through, their uniforms plastered to their skin, but neither of them cared.

"Watch this!" Yeonjun yelled over the sound of falling water before leaping into a puddle so deep it splashed up to his knees.

Beomgyu laughed so hard his stomach hurt, then followed suit, stomping in the water until muddy drops sprayed everywhere.

Their shoes squelched with every step, but they kept going, drenched and grinning like the idiots they were back then.

Yeonjun grabbed his hand, tugging him into a bigger puddle.

"You're too slow! Come on!"

The warmth of Yeonjun's hand in his, the rain washing over them, and the sound of their laughter echoing through empty streets...it had felt endless. It had felt...safe.

The happy memory dissolved as quickly as it came, leaving behind a hollow ache in his chest.

Things had been simple then. Before the shouting. Before the fight. Before the years of ignorance.

Out there, Yeonjun still existed. But he wasn't the boy from the rain anymore...

The sound of a car passing outside made him flinch. He pressed his face into the pillow, shutting his eyes tight.

He wasn't sure if the pounding in his ears was his own heartbeat or the echo of distant whispers that refused to leave him alone.

The sobs slowed eventually, leaving his throat raw and his body heavy. His pillow was damp beneath his cheek, but he couldn't bring himself to move.

"I should've been the one gone."

The thought lingered as exhaustion dragged him down.

The last thing he saw before his eyes slipped shut was Yeonjun's face earlier that day...calm, unshaken, impossible.

For a fleeting second, he wished Yeonjun hadn't let go of his wrist...