When I'm Gone

Chapter 5

I followed Mackenzie for the rest of the day. My death seemed to hit her harder than anyone else, besides my family (not counting Vanessa, who was still more concerned with the number of Snapchat followers she had).

At the end of the day, in the locker room, Bella walked up to Mackenzie.  "Hey, I heard you signed up for swim."

"Yeah, Audrey was going to help me."

"I'm heading to the gym afterschool today.  If you want to come, I could help you."

Mackenzie smiled sadly.  "I would love to, but today's Audrey's funeral.  I promised Mrs. Mann I would help her with the preparations."

"Oh, ok.  I got an invitation to that, but I wasn't planning on going."

"How come?"

"Audrey and I weren't very close.  Mostly just swim season."

"I think you should come.  At least to support her family."

"I might."  Bella turned and walked to her locker.

Mackenize got her bag and keys from her locker and turned to look at the locker next to her's.  Our lockers were always next to each other because our last names were right next to each other in the alphabet.  Luz and Mann.

She spun the lock and it swung open.  The only other person I ever told my locker combination was Mackenzie, so all my stuff was still in there.  She grabbed the Georgia Tech hoodie from the hook and pulled it on over her uniform.

I had gotten a swim scholarship and academic scholarship from Georgia Tech and I was going there next year, or I was supposed to.  I wondered who would take my spot now.

Mackenzie grabbed the rest of my stuff from my locker, mostly textbooks, and walked to her car.

______

Crap.  My funeral was about to take place without me. Within seconds, I vanished into thin air.

The sun shone brilliantly and the virescent colour under its glare was offensively bright and cheerful, completely unlike the cold, icy, muggy day that took my life only a few days ago. It was as if they conspired to show me how the world would go on without me. It shouldn't.

Everything should be as grey and foggy as my emotions, it should be cold and damp with silent air.
I walked through the churchyard like a silhouette of myself. I sat in my silent grief and awaited the start of the funeral service.

I watched Mackenzie carefully; she was holding my sweatshirt, neatly folded in her arms.  She was walking behind the mahogany coffin, saying goodbye although I was gone already, her soul unwilling to acknowledge the finality of my death. 

Everyone was present, My family members and some classmates. Words from the minister, speeches at the service bring a fresh onslaught of tears, well spoken words, a tribute to their life and loves, everyone in black, dusky pink roses on the casket, watching casket lowered into the grave through tear strained eyes.

Good-bye, Audrey.

The cemetery was silent as everyone I knew, and some people passing by, quietly observed the burial.  It was almost as painful as being thrown down the icy hill.

My mind explored different realities. I was going to miss everything and everyone. They couldn't hear me, see me or touch. I was doomed, but I'm a wandering spirit on purpose. There must be something to fulfill which is why I am neither in heaven or hell or maybe its all a dream...

No way... what am I even thinking?

I decide to take a walk at the park while I am at it; there were couples, families, little children playing and the people who were all by themselves. Including a guy I saw outside the cemetery, one of the people passign by who didn't know who I was, only that I was dead.

I didn't quite get the chance to look at him earlier, so I turned, looking back for a second as I crossed the pond's bridge, I didn't regret it. He wasn't much older than I am, possibly a college student on Winter Break, lean and perhaps well built under the heavy coat, with messy brown hair spiking on the top of his head. 

He caught my eye, his jade orbs piquing with sudden interest. In a flash, that intrigue disappeared and he went on his way, hands in his pocket. The stranger was gone, and I let out a breath I hadn't know I'd been holding.Out of the blue someone tapped my shoulder; I turned backward. It was him.

"You can see me?" I asked

~~~

Thanks for reading!!  I'd like to thank my new co-writer @PriscillaWritez for being absolutely amazing in helping me write this chapter and working with me for the rest of the book.  Everyone should go check her books out becasue they're really good.

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