BORED | db

I

And the sun is out. God, it's so fucking bright in here. I mean, who makes a window this big for college students? Do you even know how expensive curtains are? If the view was anything other than another apartment, I'm sure I wouldn't feel so repulsed by the sun. If I can see it, then they can see me.

Again, I'm not sure the allotment of time that has commenced here, but I see a name flash across my screen, a name I've seen at least a million times. Jackie Sadler was my best friend. Hell, she'd be anyone's best friend. Consideration looks up to her, kindness fears her, and love becomes her. We couldn't be anymore different. I couldn't talk to her like this, all pissed off and looking for something to scorch. I watched as her name danced across the pixels and felt the buzz I set to match "Bennie and the Jets," and then the screen went black. Only for a second though, what should have been a warming text soon followed.

~Jax~

Hi, my love. How are you? Is something wrong?

I wanted nothing more than to respond with the same tone of generosity. I wanted to tell her I was enjoying this beautiful day and looking forward to smelling the roses on my way to hell. Everyday, I wonder why she sticks around. I live in my head most of the time, I just so happen to also inhabit a college-sanctioned apartment here and there. I'm quite sure I don't make enough time for her. Out of guilt and also needing an ear, I type some lazy response back.

~Drew~

the horrors are persisting

Immediately, she calls again.

"What's wrong? Do you need anything?" Jackie instantly speaks.

Jackie was the kind of girl who didn't get a lot growing up. I would say next to nothing. And like every other kid, she deserved so much more. She was one of the most broken people when I first met her--and she still is, but in an on-purpose way now. She is three years younger than me, which I often forget, but it's times like these I remember. She is so eager to fix things, more optimism in that girl's pinkie than I have in my whole body. She's got this beautiful curly brown hair, but she's dyed it black. Right after I dyed mine black. She often wears unassuming clothing, like she wants to stray as far away from standing out as possible. Her smile could make you sparkle and sob all in one moment.

"I think I may lose my job." I keep things succinct. If the other person wants more details, then they can ask, but I won't sit here and jabber on to someone who won't appreciate a good story-telling.

"What? What happened?" her voice raises at least two octaves when she's stressed out. Oddly enough, her stress makes mine dissipate. I hear how worked up she is over my idiotic problems and suddenly my fuse is only smoking with remnants of a fire as opposed to an uncontrollable blaze. Only now, I'm annoyed with her being more distressed about my problems than I am.

"Nothing, I just overslept and it's only my second day. Not a great look, it's fine. I'm just going to lay down."

"Okay..." She trails. She wants to say more, so I stay silent. Here we go.

"It's just--Well, you always tell me not to freeze, right? You could use this time to do something fun! Does your school have anything going on? You could go make a friend or get a coffee or something! You can also lay down, and I totally understand why you would want to because I know how much this job means to you right now, but I really--"

Sometimes I just have to interrupt. I don't mean to be rude, really, I don't. But she would just keep going on and on, telling me what she thinks I want to hear. Just once, I wish she would let me rot. But that's why she's such a great friend to everyone, she's always looking out for the other guy. I wonder what it will look like when she's only looking out for herself.

"Okay, I'll look, alright? You know, I've been wanting to get my haircut. Remember, I told you before I left?"

"Yeah, go get a haircut! Physical change is good to match the changes you've just gone through. I mean, you're in a new city, you don't know anyone, you've just started a brand new school again, you've moved like a million times in the last few years, and--"

"Fine, I'm looking at the events page now, happy?"

I could tell I dampened her. I always make her sad.

"I'm sorry, I just want--Just don't freeze, okay? Go out, live your life. Something bad happened, doesn't mean you have to sulk about it." She was really brilliant, you know. Smartest person I've met in years, and it's all covered up by this tendency to cater to others. When she lets go of the world, she will be fucking unstoppable.

"Well, there is this one event. There's even free haircuts!" I try to bring some life back into my words so she doesn't feel so useless. She is helping, more than she knows.

"That's perfect! We can catch up while you get ready."

Oh, Jackie. One day I'll write the craziest love letter to you and never send it.

★db★

Toodle loo
Cherry bye!