With a Pull of a Trigger

Chapter Twenty-Four

I came along

I wrote a song for you

“It’s required of us,” said Reini, bowing her head. The smell of city smoke filled her lungs, and there was nothing she felt but pure and utter confinement. Whether it was confinement from the headquarters, or confinement in the city, there was nothing left for her to do but wait and hope for the best.

A tense moment of silence passed over them, and Samuel found himself itching to hug Reini and tell her that everything was going to be okay, to reassure her that he was still the same and they still had a chance.

He couldn’t, though, and the silence continued quietly building up tension in the small space they had above the rest of the world.

“You’re wrong, you know.”

And all the things you do

And it was called yellow

Reini looked up abruptly, eyes wide and mouth open in surprise. “What did you say?”

Samuel glanced at the woman beside him and shrugged, returning his gaze to the Los Angeles horizon. “You’re wrong. I am yours.”

Reini laughed. Her laugh was a mere phantom of what her laughs truly were, and her smiles had turned bitter. “No you’re not.”

“Love is a two-way street, Reini,” said Samuel, glancing at Reini. “You should know that.”

Another laugh. It was bitterer, more condescending, more hateful, and Samuel didn’t know to whom the laugh was directed.

“No I don’t, actually,” said Reini, looking at Samuel. “Call this anything you want, Samuel; a friendship, a complicated relationship, infatuation, admiration, anything but love. This isn’t love, Sam. This can be anything else, but it is not love.”

So then I took my turn

Oh what a thing to have done

“Is that what you really think?” Samuel asked, his voice devoid of any emotion. He closed off, as if he didn’t want Reini to see what was inside. Maybe that was it, maybe that wasn’t it, but Reini found herself disappointed for the lack of vulnerability she was seeing. Samuel tried his best to be strong, but it was too late; Reini had already seen the part of him he always wanted to conceal.

“Yes,” said Reini, sighing. “This isn’t what I’ve imagined love would be. Tell me, Samuel, is this what you imagined it would be?”

“No.”

And it was all yellow

Samuel took a deep breath before saying, “I’m sorry that you can’t get me, Reini. I’m sorry that I’ve been acting a lot stranger these days, but that’s what I feel. I feel strange. Some days I feel like I’m so mad at you, I can’t even stand to be in the same room as you, and some days I feel like I’m so in love with you, I can’t stand to be without you. This is life with you, Reini. I can’t exist with or without you.”

Reini found herself speechless. What exactly could she say to the man she loved and betrayed? Taking another deep breath of the cold Los Angeles air, she stepped away from the wall, walking to the door.

A hand circled her wrist, and she couldn’t find it in herself to leave.

You’re skin

Oh yeah you’re skin and bones

Samuel’s voice was quiet, restrained. “Don’t leave. You always leave.”

“I had to,” said Reini, her head bowed. “You know that.”