With a Pull of a Trigger

Chapter Twenty-Four

“I can’t do this, Samuel,” said Reini, and it was true because she couldn’t face anything with a straight face anymore. She had failed in almost everything, and to look at the ruins around her was heartbreaking. “You and I both know that this isn’t going to work.”

Somewhere, in the city, the high class escorts were strapping on their high heels and pulling up their fishnets. The taxi drivers would be rubbing tired eyes and would continue on driving, and the failed dreamers would be coming home after many auditions and less than friendly let-downs.

 A cat made its way on the top of the balcony ledge, stretching its legs behind, and continue on walking along, not minding the two people leaning against the opposite wall. The sky was still black, the city was still its plastic self, and the people were still their normal, uncaring selves.

And somewhere, in the vast area of the city of deception, a guitar started playing, simple melodic notes blending into the city noise. An electric guitar started playing soon after the humble beginning, and though Reini couldn’t hear the sound of it, somewhere in her mind, the melody was playing, and the song was being sung.

“What is it with the both of us?” asked Reini, the fight in her already gone. She couldn’t find the strength in her to fight anymore, and both of them knew it. “When did it start getting so complicated? When did everything start to go wrong?”

Both of them knew the answer, of course, but as always, no one had the courage to break the stillness of the air by speaking the words they both knew. Everything was doomed from the very start—from the moment Samuel met Clarissa—and both of them knew that everything started to break when Samuel found out that Reini was alive.

A sigh could be heard, and Reini turned her head to look at Samuel.

“We both know the answer to that, Reini,” Samuel said quietly, his voice silent, as if afraid to chase away the silence. “The past is but mere fragments of what we imagined it to be. All we have is the future, and all we can do is continue fighting and hoping that by the end of all this, we’ll find our way to each other.”

Reini shook her head. “I can’t fight anymore.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Both,” replied Reini, the tiredness seeping into her every breath. “I won’t fight. How would I fight for something that’s not meant to be mine?”

Look at the stars

Look how they shine for you

Somewhere in the distance, a man was singing the words stringed together in Reini’s head, and somewhere in her mind, a man was making his way into her every being. Truth be told, everything was confusing, and there was nothing to do but continue breathing in the cold, cold air and try to clear her head.

Samuel let out a puff of breath, not expecting Reini’s answer. “How can you say that? That I’m not yours?”

“What else should I answer but the truth?” asked Reini, a challenge entwined with the words.

And everything you do

Yeah they were all yellow

“I don’t get you at all,” admitted Reini, a sense of defeat filling every pore, every crevice, every part of her entire being. It had been a great illusion, pretending to know Samuel and who he was, but the truth was that Reini was tired of pretending to know the man.

The truth was that she didn’t know him at all. He was still the mystery she knew him to be when she first met him.

“The thing is that I don’t know you either,” said Samuel, staring dully ahead, at the bright city skyline. The words made their way into Reini’s heart, he knew, and there was nothing he could do to get them back. “We constantly change.”