Fragment Of You. (ONGOING)

~~~CHAPTER THREE~~~

BAUCHI, 2013.

      The parlor was noisy.

Kids her age playing around, running and laughing with each other. She never cared to join. She was sitting in a corner across the dining area watching them not because she doesn't want to join them but because she's not allowed to. She's been told to always stay quiet and invisible. Words that became commandments over the year. So she's playing with her thoughts instead.

Hibba sat there inhaling sweet scent of turaren wuta that lingered in the parlor. The only thing she truly loved about the house.

The parlor was large because it's the main sitting room of the house. It was occupied by beautiful pieces of Turkish furniture and a 100 inches TV sitting on a glass tv stand. The interior is warm beige and light brown. Everything screamed luxury.

But she didn't feel like she belonged to it.

Her stomach rumbled. She hadn't eaten since breakfast. And even then it hadn't been much. Quietly she stood and walked to the kitchen. since she knew she was not allowed to eat from the food flask, she served herself from the pot, scooping leftover jallof rice into her plate.

Mummy walked in, eying her.

She saw her plate and said, “shegiya mayya kin cika plate da duk wanan abincin ina zaki kaishi? Rage dan ubanki.”

As usual, Hibba sighed, took a turn and scooped a small portion of rice back into the pot. And walked out of the kitchen like someone who has just been beaten by the rain.

At the door, she heard mummy’s voice behind her saying marar Godiyan Allah. After all we have done for you amman har kina tura baki dan anmiki masifa. very ungrateful child.

Then louder, she said you should be grateful. loud enough for her to hear.

She released a side smile that didn't even reach her cheeks and repeat “Grateful” hmmm.

She went to her room and ate her food in silence repeating the word grateful in her mind over and over again. When she finished, She returned the plate back, washed it and kept it exactly where she took it from.

Later, She stepped outside to  take a walk around the compound. The space was large. Surrounded by tall gates and flowering trees. The air was fresh. It had rained earlier. She took a deep breath. Closed her eyes and let the breeze touch her soul. Still that word repeated in her head “Grateful.”

She quickly wiped a single tear that dropped on her cheeks and hummed.

She had this word printed in her head ever since she was old enough to realize the ugly truth that her cousins birthdays always comes with cake and celebration while hers was treated like just an ordinary day. It just came and went quietly like a secret. Her clothes are always different. low quality and squeezed while her cousin's clothes are always new and neat. Their lunch box had snacks and food while Hers were mostly leftover food or nothing. Her cousins had toys while she didn't. They had freedom while it took a miracle before she was even allowed to attend school.

Her place was the corner of the dining table never in the family portraits..

They were loved……. She was not.

~~~~~~~~

At School she's the quiet type. She doesn't have friends. She had good handwriting and of course good grades. But She rarely asked questions because questions led to cold stares, harsh words, sometimes beating and sometimes silence that's louder than any slap.

She flinched a little when her name was being called out too loudly. She was polite, distant and alway alone.

She often watched the girls in her class laugh, play games and braid each other's hair, share snacks, pass notes under the desk. But she was never part of them. Hibba stayed on the edge of the circle, unnoticed, untouched and invisible.

Except for one. 

Ameera or  Amyy as everyone called her.

Amyy was a transferred student from another School in JSS2. She wasn't loud but she's cheerful, nice and full of laughter, light and warmth. She always smiled at Hibba, always waved when she saw her. The first time it happened, Hibba was so happy because for the first time in years she knew what it felt like to be seen.

Hibba and Amyy started getting closer in SS1. Ameera is the first person Hibba let into her world, or at least a piece of it. They'd sit together during break, share snacks, and talk about books. Both of them were bookworms. Sometimes they'd talk about school works, sometimes about islamiyya and sometimes Ameera would even braid Hibba's hair while humming Hausa songs. They really get along together.

Still Hibba never talk about home.
Not the aunt that watch her every move like a hawk
Not the uncle who only spoke to her when correcting her mistakes.
Not the birthday she spent cleaning.
And Amyy never asked even though she had already figured something was wrong.