(I'm not) your Barbie doll (ON HOLD)

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

   I stared around at all of the angry guys standing in front of me. Honestly, it was pretty terrifying. The anger that radiated from them was enough to make me step back again. "Carrie, it's okay." I heard somebody whisper into my ear as I was pulled away from arms that were around my waist. Turning in the arms, I was met by Randy's concerned face. Tears were brimming in my eyes and I was biting my bottom lip pretty hard. My heart was beating so hard and all I could do was stare into Randy's beautiful eyes and try not to think about the anger around me that reminded me of Kendrick. "Carrie, what is it?"

"They're...they're all so angry. It's like Kendrick before...before he would..." Tears fell down my cheeks as I said this to Randy. He pulled me to his chest and said something about them having their reasons for being that angry but that I had nothing to worry about. I nodded meekly and kept my face pressed into his chest, hiding away from the anger that was the output of the group of abnormally large rugby players.

   "Carrie, do you want me to take you home?" Randy whispered as we sat on a bench on the edge of the pitch while the team practised. I shook my head violently. "Why?"

"Because...he'll...he'll be waiting for me." I stammered out.

"You're kidding."

Shaking my head again, I replied "No. My parents are away for the weekend and...he knows they are. He knows I'm on my own and...he's being worse than usual. He's pushing me around in my own home and..."  Randy wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against his body, "I'm scared, Randy...I'm really scared. More scared than I've ever been. I...I don't think I can do it any more. I can't keep living like this. I can't. I'm tired of hating myself and my body because of him, because of what he's done, I hate it. I just...I don't know what to do any more. Being with you today, it's been the safest I've felt in I don't know how long. Please, don't make me go back to him, to feeling like that. I really can't keep up the happy façade around everyone much longer. It gets harder every time. I just...I don't know if I can keep doing it - especially around my parents. And I most certainly don't want them finding out about what he does. It would break them and I won't let that happen. Not to them." Tears were now streaming down my cheeks. Randy lifted me onto his lap and turned my head so that I was looking him in the eye.

"He's not going to hurt you. We're not going to let him. I promise you that, Carrie. Will you trust me when I say that we'll look after you?" There was so much concern and trust in his eyes. I bit my bottom lip and nodded weakly. "Good." Randy moved my head so that it was resting on his shoulder and I slowly drifted off into a nightmare.

   Shooting up from my sleep with a start, I found Randy looking down at me, his facial features plastered with concern. "Carrie?" He whispered. I looked at him with the tears in my eyes and told him I'd had a nightmare before snuggling into his chest. I'd only known him for a few hours but he made me feel safe and in my life that was a rare thing to find. Sanctuary. It was hard to come across these days and I wanted to make the most of it while it was available.

   I looked around me once I'd properly woken up and realised my surroundings had changed. "Where are we?" I muttered to Randy, looking up into his eyes. I could see lights flashing by and heard light mutterings from somewhere ahead. 

"We're in the back of Duke's truck." Randy replied. I cocked an eyebrow. "One of the human mountains?"

"Hey! I take that very offensively." The driver snapped, pretending to be angry. I flinched a little and tried to hide it but Randy noticed and he pulled me back so I was leaning against his chest and sent a soft smile my way that made my stomach flutter a little. Nodding, I snuggled back into his chest, not caring where we were driving to, just enjoying the comfort.

   "Good night, Carrie." I heard before I fell into the deepest sleep I'd ever experienced since meeting Kendrick. This time, there were no nightmares, my mind happily wandered like a four year old and I caught up with all of the true dreams I'd missed.

   "Jamerson, you're not going to do a single fucking thing to her. The same thing won't happen again, I can guarantee that. You're not going to ruin another girl's life. And that's a promise." I heard a frustrated sigh after that threatening tone. I hid myself further under the duvet, keeping away from the anger that I had just heard, so menacing and...hurt? "Carrie?" The voice resembled none of the anger it had a few minutes ago. I still kept myself out of the way. "Carrie, are you awake? It's eleven thirty." Moving about under the duvet, I poked my head out a little and saw Randy smiling down at me. The smile was forced and hid pain. I knew from experience, it was a smile I'd had to produce many a time and still did at times. "Hey, sleeping beauty." He said, his tone even softer and the smile a little more genuine. I shuffled over and he sat beside me on the bed.

"You were talking to Kendrick?" Randy sighed before nodding reluctantly. "Why?"

There was a long pause before Randy replied with "Your phone rang and I saw his name. He needed to know what was coming his way." He sighed before saying, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."

"And what about him ruining another girl's life?" This question worried me slightly, I had to admit. He didn't answer. "Randy?"

Randy stared at the end of the bed, "That, erm...that doesn't...that doesn't matter." Standing up, Randy walked out of the room and said "Breakfast?", as he left. 

   "Randy, please, please tell me." I whispered as I stood behind him in the kitchen we'd been in earlier yesterday. He shook his head. "Why not? This concerns me, this is about me. I've got the freaking marks to prove it." I was lifting up my shirt to reveal the variations of bruises - dark and light, new and old - that were situated on my stomach. Randy turned to look at me and his jaw dropped slightly. He came towards me and enveloped me in his arms. "Randy, don't tell me this doesn't matter when I'm being affected by it. Please tell me...please?" Tears were rolling down my cheeks. It was the first time I'd shown someone what Kendrick did and it was the first time I'd looked at myself properly in a while, looked at what he'd done to me - physically, that is. I was hideous. Randy held me until I calmed down and told me that it'd be okay, that he was sorting it, that it wouldn't happen to me, he wouldn't let it.

   "What did he do, Randy?" I whispered as I sat in his lap on the sofa, wiping at my tear-stained cheeks. "Please tell me." The last part was barely audible. Randy looked around for a while, avoiding my eyes, as if contemplating whether or not to tell me.

"He killed my sister." Randy's words hung heavy in the air as I stared up at him in fear, horror and shock.