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i hold your picture in my hands,
a frozen smile i barely know.
they say you rocked me, sang to me.
i wish my mind had kept it so.
they speak of you in gentle tones,
each story worn, each detail sweet.
but when I try to see your face,
my thoughts pull back, retreat, repeat.
i was too small to understand,
too young to keep your voice intact.
and now i chase a fading dream,
a bond that time won't give me back.
i fake the memories i should own,
pretend i feel what i cannot.
they ask, "don't you remember this?"
i nod. i lie. i've long forgot.
and guilt, like ivy, wraps around,
for how can love so deep just blur?
what kind of child forgets the arms
that once were all the world to her?
if you were here, i'd beg you please
to tell me what i used to be.
did i make you laugh? did i ever cry
and run to you instinctively?
but silence answers all i ask,
and grief becomes a quiet thief.
not just of you. but of the past,
of memory, of sweet belief.
still, i will carry what i can,
though faded, fractured, far apart,
i'll love you with this empty space
and stitch your name into my heart.
YOU ARE READING
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Poetry" i worry this is how i'm always gonna feel " āāāāāāā į„«į” šš ššššš ... i write poems and show them for the first time!! ā (a poem book made by ellawriteslove)
