Hold Me Now- Kaneki x Hide (HideKane)

{5: Regret}

{5: Regret}  

Kaneki has come to regret many things over a short period of time. In fact, he has a lengthy list.

1. He regrets having gone have a date on Rize.

2. He regrets having known so little about Ghouls. Perhaps if he had knew more about them he wouldn't have gotten involved with Rize in the first place...

3. He regrets that he let his fears get the better of him.

4. He regrets having let himself rely so much on Hide.

5. He regrets having called Hide.

6. He regrets having let Hide visit him.

7. He regrets having denied his true feelings.

8. He regrets not having confessed to Hide.

"Is that some sort of strange confession?" Hide asks with a nervous chuckle upon seeing Kaneki's wild expression.

9. Kaneki regrets having not satisfied his hunger sooner.

Hide lets out a loud gasp as Kaneki bites into his shoulder. He doesn't just nip him, he bites him, drawing blood. One would expect Hide to scream, to cry, or to remain frozen in shock. Hide, however, forces himself to remain calm. Although his friend seems to have become a Ghoul he is still the fragile and innocent boy whom he cherishes. Stroking his friend's silky dark hair, Hide scolds his friend with a shaky voice, "B-BAKAneki, why d-didn't you j-just ask m-me for h-help? I'd d-do anything f-for you."

Hide, sadly, is unaware of the war occurring within Kaneki's mind. "Yes, devour him!" Rize says, encouraging Kaneki to eat his friend. "Doesn't he just taste HEAVENLY? Bite deeper, eat more, eat until you're MORE than full." Kaneki, having his mind clouded by both Rize and his hunger struggles to get his mind to function properly.

Just as Hide is unaware of Kaneki's war, Kaneki is unaware of the strong feeling of regret Hide has. The feeling is so strong that it nearly suffocates Hide... The feeling is so strong that if forces Hide to involuntarily hold his breath. Hide, like Kaneki regrets oh so many things.

1. He regrets the fact that he didn't check in on Kaneki sooner or more frequently.

2. He regrets the fact that he wasn't able to convince Kaneki to tell him what is wrong.

3. He regrets the fact that he let his fears get the better of him.

4. He regrets the fact that he didn't make it clear that Kaneki could rely on him.

5. He regrets knowing so little about Ghouls.

6. He regrets not having been able to convince Kaneki NOT to go on a date with Rize.

7. He regrets the fact that he wasn't able to prevent his friend from feeling so much pain.

8. He regrets having denied his true feelings.

9. He regrets not having confessed to Kaneki.

Kaneki emits a loud scream upon realizing what he has done. "OH MY GOD... HIDE!" He begins to tremble, and Kaneki feels as though he is going to throw up. He has left a deep, bloody bite mark in Hide's right shoulder. His bite was so deep that it pierced through Hide's jacket, and into his skin. "Why didn't you run, Hide? Why..." His voice becomes reduced to a whisper as he attempts to calm himself. "Why did you let me do that to you?"

"It's simple, really," Hide responds, clutching his shoulder, "You're my best friend... You were suffering so I helped you feel better..." Hide winces as his shoulder begins to throb and burn, just like his heart. Despite appearing calm, Hide is in shock. His friend, who, without a doubt was human is now a Ghoul. Sadly he knows who is responsible... One might say it was Rize, whose involvement with Kaneki was the start of Kaneki's doomed future, was responsible. Another person might say it is whoever made nearby building materials "fall" on Rize, killing her is responsible. She, being the nearest "person" became the killer and savior of Kaneki. Yet another person might say it was the doctor who put a dead Ghoul's organ into a human is responsible. Hide, however, knows who truly is responsible. HE is responsible.

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"Over there... That's her..." Kaneki whispers, motioning to a girl who enters Anteiku with nearly silent footsteps. The girl has long hair that frames a soft face. Her face and whole demeanor gives off an innocent aura. Most would assume the girl is kind and perhaps even shy but Hide can't help but feel that all of it seems forced... From her simple but flattering outfit, to her soft voice... It's almost if she's acting and she has decided to drag them all onto the stage.

"Kaneki!" Hide says, perhaps a bit too loudly. "I'm saying this for your own good..." He grips his friend by his shoulders, trying to make sure he has his attention, "Give up!" He wishes he could leave it at that... But he knows Kaneki desires some sort of explanation for his words. Who wouldn't? What kind of best friend would tell you to give up on getting the girl of your dreams? Someone like Hide, who is hopelessly in love with his OBVIOUSLY straight best friend would. "She's way too hot for you..." Hide let's go of Kaneki's shoulders reluctantly. If only he could hold him, and never let him go... "If she took those glasses off, she'd be something else," he adds, feigning romantic interest in the girl. Resting his hands upon his chin, he thinks numerous thoughts about HER. His thoughts all revolve around her leaving, or moving to some distant country. Hide doesn't want to LOOSE Kaneki to someone like HER.

Rize's innocence was fake... Unlike Kaneki's.