The day that I caught myself not thinking about you I knew that I had moved on, that after a year of missing you I have finally managed to go one single day without seeing you in everything I did. After a year, I don't compare every person I meet with you, I don't try to find a smile as bright as yours in others, or eyes blueish green like yours. After a year I don't try to find bits or pieces of you in anyone or everyone just to try and make that whole in my chest that you left a little more shallow.
I wasn't ready for this day to come so soon or even at all, it filled me with a bitter feeling of sorrow and grief, because for some reason trying to find you in people brought me hope that some day maybe there would be another one like you. I cursed myself for allowing it to happen because I knew that it was only a matter of time before a second day came by that I didn't think of you, and then a third and a fourth. I knew in that moment that I had changed and moved on.
But even then I cursed myself for letting you out of my head and life so easily, for not fighting for it stronger. I had prided myself that everything I lost in my life had claw marks on it, that I had been doing everything in my power to not lose it but there you were, slipping out of my thoughts and memories so easily that it seemed like someone had done that before. I will never not be disappointed at my own brain for the memories of you that I lost and will never get them back.
YOU ARE READING
my random one thoughts
Short StoryRandom thoughts the heart of a girl who gave too much of her to someone who didn't deserve it decided to put on words.
