"Before the Act"-An A3! Sakyoizu fanfic

Memories Of Youth

S.F

There were moments where i swore i'd catch a glimpse of her hair. Where it was enough to make my heart pause. For a second, i would get my hopes up. But there was no such things as "coincidences" in my world. I was hoping for some kind of impossible miracle to unfold —hoping my prayers would be answered, and i'd see that girl again.

It was a foolish attempt on trying to fix things. The thought alone was already out of the question. All i could do was hold my head up high and continue supporting my mother through these desperate times. I knew i shouldn't dwell on the past; or that i should probably move on from those memories i'd buried ever so deeply.

Yet, every time i catch my head thinkin' all those thoughts of what could've been for the mankai company, i felt a deep sense of shame. And, well, then there was the other part of me—the part still quietly yearning for something more...or perhaps, someone.

It's been a long time since i even thought about acting. Stepping up on that stage and acting my heart out when i was just a little shrimp. The sounds of soft rustling of scripts turning the next page—the leaders ordering their members; it all came back.

That wave of familiarity sent a shiver down my spine, one that i could never get rid of. And despite trying my best to move on, i still missed that feeling...deeply.

"Oi, Furuichi Sakyo, ain't it? Should i mark you absent?" The teacher called out my name, snapping me out of my endless daydreaming. Just my luck.

I grabbed a pen, absentmindedly twirling it around before huffing out my words. "Present." I could hear one of my guys struggling to hold back their laugh, practically gnawing at their finger. Yeah—talk about subtle.

He gave me a nod, checking my name off the list as the teacher continued on calling each and everyone in the class. Not that i was really listening, though. Whatever the hell the teacher was talking about never seemed to matter. None of it could fill the void of my own little world. I couldn't get out of my own thoughts, and no matter how hard i tried, i felt like i was drowning.

"Fuckin' hell, my head hurts..." I touch the back of my head, fingers brushing over the fresh bruises i got after fighting some hard-asses just because i looked at them the wrong way. It didn't take too long before i dragged myself to the clinic, just wanting some peace and quiet for once, without some idiot nagging in my ear, asking where i'd be.

In all honesty, all i really wanted was to keep rereading the old and worn out pamphlet hidden away in my pocket, bearing the cheerful words "MANKAI COMPANY —come and join us!" I kept on reading the words until i memorized every single letter on it. How many colors they used, the layout, and practically had the caller id etched into my brain. It was messed up, but i couldn't let go of it.

I knew that i wasn't good enough to step back inside there. Seriously, when have you ever seen a yakuza underling stroll up to a place like Mankai and ask to be part of a troupe after leaving? I was reaching for the moon at that point, and i knew that i'd only look pathetic if i even tried to come back. It hurt more than i'd ever admit. Every time i tried to use some sort of distraction either beating somebody up pr anything else—my thoughts end up crawling back to them. Every. Damn. Time.

At least there was some sort of silence in the room. It was already late in the afternoon, the sun peeking through the windows as it fell onto my face. I could remember how warm it felt.

And, i had this unspoken agreement with the school nurse; that i could stay as much as i wanted here on one condition: No fights. Easy bargain, right? But the moment my head hit the pillow—the door swung open; feeling my heart drop to my stomach, i crumpled the pamphlet into my fist, shoving it down my pocket so the guys wouldn't see what i was up to this whole time.

"Saaaakiiuyoooo—!" One of the guys came in and jumped on the bed, the weighing the three of us down. "Whatcha' reading? You thought we wouldn't see that, huh?" Another one annoyingly pointed out what i was trying to hide.

"Nothing..." I sighed, seeing that they were still curious as to what it was that i was hiding, not that it was any of their business anyway.

"Aw, c'mon, you don't hafta hide it from us!"
"I said no,"
"Please?" They continued pestering me for a minute, before i could think of the only plausible thing to say.

"...Porn." I don't even know what urged me to say that. Maybe i panicked. But one thing was for sure...It would make much more sense for a hormonal teenager to be addicted to that sort of thing rather than obsessively reading a theatre brochure. "I was looking at...pornography." I repeated, though it felt just unnatural coming out of my mouth. Judging by their faces, they didn't buy it. They burst out laughing—holding onto their stomachs and all; telling me that i was a bad liar. Well, they weren't wrong.

"Look, don't go snooping around in other people's business...whatever the hell i was readin' isn't a damn invitation to start makin' assumptions..." I could feel their curious eyes on me, and it didn't feel too good keeping my secret down since i've basically been with these guys ever since. We've fought a shit-ton of people, so that sort of bond just doesn't go anywhere. Not ever.

But maybe that shouldn't be whats on my mind. I've got a group of dumbasses that tail behind me, actin' like i'm one of them. By the looks of it, it wasn't too far off to see that i was different among the rest of the people here.

And i needed to accept that, one way or another.