Nerdmin - Nerd Armin FanFiction

Chapter 3

You stared at your hands in your lap, fingers still shaky, your body still humming from the closeness, the warmth of him, the everything. You were wearing his hoodie. You didn't even remember putting it on. Maybe he'd helped you. Maybe it just happened.

He pulled up in front of your dorm, finally. The car went into park, but he didn't turn it off. Just sat there, engine still on. You both just sat in silence

"Do I get to see you tomorrow?" he asked, not looking at you now. "Like... actually see you? Talk to you? Or are we pretending this didn't happen?" His voice broke and he looked down, inhaled and closed his eyes for a moment.

You swallowed. It would be easier to pretend. To ghost him. To text some dry little "thanks for the ride" and go back to how things were before. But you couldn't do that. Not anymore. Not when it felt so right. His lips kissing yours, his hands on your body. It was too late to pretend it didn't fucking happen and you didn't even want to pretend it didn't. It did happen and it felt so, so right it hurt.

"I don't know what this is," you said honestly. "But I'm not pretending it didn't happen. I don't even want to..."

He nodded, slow. "Okay"

You reached for the door handle, hesitated. "You could've kissed me before," you whispered. "All those times. You had chances."

"I know," he said, almost pained. "But I was scared then too. Still am."

And you believed him. You really did. Which might've been the most dangerous part. What if he lied? what if he used you and your feelings? used your vulnerability against you? What if? It hurt to think about it so you just decided to ignore. You loved him, fucking loved him more than anything, all those years. But what if... you hoped for nothing? What if it was all a dream, too good to be true. And if it was a dream, you didn't want to wake up from it.

You didn't kiss him goodbye. You didn't hug him either. You just opened the door, stepped out, and before you closed it, you leaned down and said one last thing.

"See you tomorrow, Armin."

His eyes snapped to yours like it caught him off guard. Like maybe he didn't expect to get a tomorrow with you.

"Yeah," he said, breathless. "Tomorrow."

Then you shut the door, heading to your room and for the first time in a long time, your heart didn't hurt as much.

                                                                                                                       ***

You woke up with a headache and the worst kind of emotional hangover. Not from alcohol- from him. From his voice in your ear, his hoodie still wrapped around you like a souvenir you didn't ask for. From the way your body kept remembering every second like it was burned into your skin. And maybe it was. You touched your shoulder, where he left the mark and it remembered you that it was real and it did happen, that you were not fucking crazy.

You were supposed to be mad. Maybe you still were. But all you could think about was Armin saying "I liked it, a lot," like it physically pained him to admit it. You'd never seen him look like that. Not when he was high. Not when he was drunk. Not even back then, when he used to glance at you like maybe he wanted something more but always kept his mouth shut.

Sasha remained at Jean's with Connie, and Historia went home for the weekend. It was quiet and you appreciated it. You didn't need any consolation from them right now, even if they meant well, even if both cared about you a lot.

Your phone buzzed. Twice.

Armin: are you awake

Armin: i know it's early. i just... are you okay?