Nothing Like Us (L.H.)

Chapter 39

I laughed. "Well, I've been with my flat longer."

"Yeah, and we're not even together!" He said jokingly.

The laughter faded from my expression. I know that Nick didn't mean for it to sound that way, but I have been thinking about that matter lately. It really bothers me.

I know to myself that I'm still not ready to commit myself to another relationship. And I don't want flings. But Nick is a really nice guy. And besides, I have admitted to myself that I kinda' like him too. So now, I feel like there's this huge thing that's stopping me from being with him. And I know that that thing is probably my past. It bothers me that it still bothers me until now. Shouldn't have I moved on completely already? Shouldn't it supposed to not bother me anymore? But it still does. And... I hope I'm not wrong when I say I don't know why.

"Why??" Nick asked, suddenly concerned.

"H-huh? Why what?"

"You look worried." He said. "If it's because of what I said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"I know, Nick. It's not that. It's something else." I sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it."

He just shrugged. "Okay."

So we continued talking for another half an hour. I was a little off for the rest of it, though. And I know that Nick could tell, because he keeps on stopping the conversation to ask if I'm okay. Everytime he does, I just shrug it off.

I've been trying so damn hard to stop thinking of what happened in the past with overflowing concern and all that.

After talking to Nick, I decided to go home since it's getting dark. It's sort of disorenting sometimes. Sunsets are usually 8PM in L.A. and I got used to that. When I first arrived at L.A., this also happened to me. I keep on wondering why I get sleepy so early, then I look at the time and it's already 11.

Timezones have been fucking up my life since I moved to L.A.

Anyway, Lei wasn't in our room when I arrived. I don't know where the hell she goes at night. And I don't intend to know. Sometimes I wake up, and she still won't be here. I'm not complaining though. Her presence makes me feel uncomfortable and so conscious about myself. I love having the room all to myself, thank you very much.

Melissa messaged me earlier about New York. She said she can't keep up with how busy people were. I can't believe she and Andy are literally across the world. If you won't think about it, it would sometimes seem that we were just on our own flats, having a casual videochat.

Andy says he's enjoying Europe. Well, who doesn't enjoy Europe? European guys are hot. Although, there are a lot of people in some of the European countries who speaks very little english. Andy says it's sort of hard to communicate sometimes. But besides that, Europe is fab as fuck.

So, yeah. I told them about Sydney too. But they probably know how's it like here, since I always tell them random facts about Sydney and all that.

We only have a week until all of us are destined to go back to L.A. I didn't do much here for the past week. It's not like I'm a tourist or something. But I haven't visited certain places and certain people. I don't know if I even want to see them anymore. Like I said, it feels like a different lifetime.

While I was debating myself whether to sleep early today or not, someone texted me. I looked at my screen, seeing that it's Charlie who texted me.

How is her number saved on my phone? That girl has always been so sneaky.

Charlie: YOU'RE IN SYDNEY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Charlie: this is charlie btw in case you dont know. But i think you do since im the one who added my number on your list.