With a Pull of a Trigger

Chapter Twenty-One

Reini knew that was how the general world and society perceived them to be, but what most people didn’t know was that agents had a reason to be paranoid and a good one too. More often than not, people thought agents were the ones who chased down criminals and those who threaten the security of the country, but what they didn’t realize was that agents were chased too.

Reini rubbed her temples in an effort to stave off a headache, but dropped her hands when her head just throbbed painfully, alerting her to the presence of a migraine.

Well, fuck.

As was the norm for days like those, Reini turned to her side, opening her eyes, expecting Eena to be seated there, handing her medicine.

She wasn’t there.

Instead, she found an empty desk and a swivel chair neatly put aside, with no Eena smiling at her and telling her to go and grab some coffee.

The lack of Eena’s presence in the room could be felt by the whole CIA headquarters, but it seemed that Greg and Reini were the ones who felt it the most. At night, Reini could sometimes hear the sound of explosion on repeat, like a recorder that refused to stop. She could still see the scene vividly in her head, could still feel the underlying guilt of not being there to save one of her best friends. Her heart ached for the girl who wasn’t there anymore for them, and at night, when Reini woke up in cold sweat, she buried her face in her hands and just cried, privately mourning for the friend she would never see again.

Reini felt, to be honest, quite isolated in the world, with no one left to be bothered with her. Greg was mourning too, but he had Joshua, and Reini wouldn’t ever want to bother Greg with all the baggage she was carrying. Reini knew Tiffany had visited her sister the day before, and knew how hard that must have been for the both of them. Christian was busy with his wife and daughter, and no matter how much Reini wanted to just be comforted and be with her friends, they were all busy, and she knew within herself that it would be better to be alone.

Reini was all alone, and no one cared enough to notice, not even Samuel.

The fact of the matter was that she had so many problems, and she had no idea how to solve each one. Samuel was still a troubling mystery she couldn’t unravel, and Eena’s death was another mystery to solve, not to mention the many troubling questions she still had about Gil. It felt like she was taking on too much, and she was struggling under the weight of it all.

Gil’s life was still a complete and utter mystery to her, and she wasn’t any closer to understanding all of it than she was on that day, when she exited his mansion after finally having some of her questions answered.

She regretted not having asked him a lot of things, mainly why he had joined, why he had quit, andhow he had joined in the first place. For the moment, it seemed as if Gil was a never-ending array of puzzles with pieces she still hadn’t gotten to collect.

“I can hear you thinking from way over here.”

Reini looked up and saw Greg walking towards his desk, glancing surreptitiously at Eena’s desk before sitting down at his own. He turned around, facing Reini, and Reini saw that he had a sad smile on his face too.

“Hey,” said Reini, her voice lacking the usual cheer.

Greg seemed to notice, for he nodded slowly, as if he felt the way Reini did too. “You should stop doing that; being all troubled.”

Reini sighed. “I can’t help it. I have a million questions, and none of them seem to have answers. Eena’s murderer is still out there, and we’re not even sure if it’s The Alliance who ordered her death be handed to us on a silver platter. Samuel’s still detached, and I don’t know what to do anymore.” Reini’s voice took on a panicked tone, her breath coming out in short gasps, and Reini could feel the burn in her lungs from the lack of intake of air. “It seems as if everything’s just in a swirling mass of black and gray, and I just have to choose between the evil and less evil. I can’t move on, and Eena’s gone, and Samuel’s just not talking to me, and I just feel so alone whereas you have Joshua. Eena used to be there a lot for me, you know? I don’t like the idea of being helpless because she just isn’t here anymore, and Gil’s still a mystery I’m supposed to solve, and I just can’t help this feeling of being isolated with no one who cares enough to go and check up on m—”