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— minnie bruce platt
it's one of two things. hurting herself, or hurting someone else.
in the dead of night, imogen li decides, why not both? and shows up at the pitt, a.k.a. pittsburgh trauma medical hospital's emergency room. once a psychiatric resident in one of the hospital's floors above ground, imogen stepped away from her program to, as her mom says, "take some time off". everyone knows what this really means, of course: imogen is done, already having fallen too far behind to catch up with her peers and make up for lost time.
john shen isn't so sure about the "done" part, but imogen is. after six months of blood and cuts and begging for release, she just wants it to be over. or maybe she doesn't. that's what shen says, when imogen appears like a ghost in the waiting room halfway through his overnight shift, pale, barely there. you wouldn't be here if you didn't want to live, he says.
imogen says nothing in return.
the day shift attendings, robby and abbott, are lovingly known for their rooftop congregations. imogen understands the urge, that deep relief, that comes with thinking about doing something bad to yourself. but she couldn't stand on that roof, look to the world below, and imagine a quick, hard death. not when she's already down there, on that pavement, under it, trapped six feet under, drowning in dirt, darkness, unwilling to dig herself out.
why are you here? shen asks, washing his hands. imogen watches the water circle the drain. do you need my help?
again, she says nothing. but shen knows she wants to.
havana rose liu as
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