Invisible String

Labyrinth

It wasn't until your plate was sitting in front of you did you even remember what you had chosen and while it looked better than anything you'd eaten before, your stomach churned. You poked and prodded at the meal, eating what you could muster and drinking water to make sure you didn't choke. You had to get ahold of yourself. You thought.

This was your life now. If you couldn't go to one single event without your emotional support alien boyfriend, then how were you supposed to do anything at all? A dull jab to your arm caught your attention and you looked up, only to notice everyone's plates were being cleared and it was time for awards. You apologized to the worker who was asking if you were done and moved your arms so they could grab your half-eaten half-deconstructed plate of food. Dorothy gave you a concerned look as everyone got situated for the rest of the ceremony to begin.

"You doing okay?" Dorothy whispered to you.

"Yeah...I'll be fine." You reassured her. But you weren't. You felt like you were going to be sick. You didn't want to be here. You wanted to be at home or at the farm, maybe he'd be there. Your mind and heart were in limbo and for a split second you had wished you'd never entered this world. Never known the touch of a flame that couldn't burn you. Before you could spiral any further, you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom. You knew where it was and hoped it was empty. It didn't matter if you missed some of the announcements because you weren't getting any awards. You joined the team too far into the year. Your legs picked up speed the further from people you got until you were almost in a full sprint, running to the room as fast as your shoes would let you.

It was empty as you entered and you thanked whatever god existed for that. You threw the door behind you and locked it, for privacy reasons. Your legs wobbled to the sink, and you had to grab onto the ledge to keep your balance in your shoes. How did this night go so wrong. You thought you could do it, deal with your feelings of inadequacy alone. That you would have to force yourself to be stronger because if you were to remain in human society this is what your life would be. If you stayed a park ranger this is what every end of year party would feel like. How long before you just stopped going? 10 years? 20?

No. You told yourself. You took a deep breath in, holding it, feeling the waves of anxiety wash over you. You didn't want to cry; you didn't want to have to explain why your eyes would be puffy and red. You wanted to leave but maybe some fresh air would do you some good. Once you composed yourself you took a look around the room. It was a powder room, one of those fancy ones rich people had. The cream-colored walls helped to calm your mind as you tried to count the flecks of gold that was mixed in with the paint.

You were ready then, as you would ever be, and unlocked the door. Thankfully it seemed, no one had been waiting outside even though you'd been in there long enough for the awards to be over. People were standing around now, watching tables be moved and pushed to the walls for the dancing portion of the night. You could even see a group of live musicians gather on a platform to get ready to play. You scanned the room for Dorothy and Alex, feeling out of place and awkward. When you couldn't find them, you made your way to where a large door opened up into a sprawling back yard balcony. There was a marble staircase to the left that led into a garden of sorts, it was half enclosed and half open (the open part leading from a greenhouse like area into a short hedge maze), and you were glad for the chilled fresh air.

You propped your arms up on the 3/4th wall, hanging your head in your hands. What were you doing? Wasting a beautiful night in a beautiful place because you couldn't spend it with the one person you wanted to? Well, when you put it like that...you sighed. The cool air on your skin felt nice but soon it started to turn into a bitter cold feeling and not refreshing so once you were cooled off, you turned back to the door and tried to find the couple again. The more you looked the more you realized there were a lot of people here, it dawned on you that they were probably lost in the crowd. As you looked over the waves of people a glimpse of silver caught your eye. At first you thought it might have been Dorothy's dress but after doing a double take, you realized your eyes had been drawn to a man.