Broken Soldier [#Wattys2015]

Chapter Sixteen

Sokovia, 2015

Maria

I sat by myself on the edge of a small creek, not too far from the camp. It was peaceful and soothing, listening to the water running over the rocks and hearing a sudden blip of a fish rushing away from the surface. It seemed like life was so simple - but it's wasn't. And it would never be. My life, Valerie's life and even Barnes' life would never be normal.

Since my little incident with remembering pretty much everything, I had changed dramatically. Everything in my life was messed up. I didn't know who to trust anymore, other than Valerie.

Someone walked up behind me. "You need to eat," Barnes said.

I didn't turn to look at him. I didn't want to look at him. In face, I didn't want him to be there, and I don't know why.

"Why are you here?" I asked, probably a little too snappy.

"To bring you food," he replied quietly.

I sighed heavily. "I meant - why are you here in Sokovia?" I turned to look at him. "What made you just so happen to be here when the incident happened?"

He searched my eyes for something before sitting down next to me. My gaze followed him the whole time. When he sat, he looked out into the forest beyond the creek, avoiding me and my fiery glare.

"You knew me." He said.

Again!? You've told me that a million times already Barnes! What the hell is going on!?

I calmed my rage. "No kidding, I was in love with you," I said. "Why do you keep saying that anyway?"

"That's why I'm here. I tracked you because I knew that you knew me. I don't know me anymore. I haven't known me for a very long time." He explained.

He continued to gaze upon the forest ahead and it was starting to tick me off. "Would you look at me?"

He hesitated before turning his head and looking into my eyes. I studied his. They were still the piercing blue that I remembered, but they were different. There was no emotion, only fire. And, if you looked deep enough, you could see his broken soul. The same eyes to an extent, but definitely not the same man.

"You could've gone to Steve Rogers. Why did you come to me?" I was now very curious.

Now he was really gazing into my eyes. "Because I know that you loved me, it's different. I didn't want to go to Steve because it would end up in too much trouble, so I came to you. You loved me and I know that."

My heart was breaking at the fact that he kept saying 'loved' instead of 'love'. I still loved him and I so wanted to yell that at him. But I knew that he wouldn't love me back.

"I still love you," I accidentally said aloud.

He immediately took his gaze away from mine and looked back to the forest.

I knew it...

"You don't love me anymore, do you?" I prayed that he'd say yes, but at the same time, I knew better.

"No," was his simple answer.

Tears escaped my eyes and I sniffed quite loudly, gaining his attention again. He seemed upset that what he'd said hurt me, but at least he was telling the truth.

"So why are you here Winter Soldier?" Too nasty.

He visibly shuddered at the name and I felt bad, but I couldn't take it back.

"Because I need you to help me remember who I am," he replied. "And I'm sorry that I hurt you. I wish I could've said that I love you, but I'm not Bucky Barnes anymore. I'm no one."