Endings

Ch. 1

I was never one for dating, I for one hated it. since Middle School, I deemed it as useless. I've grown to believe people only dated because they were bored of their lives, or felt like there was something missing from their own, that they thought could be patched from another person.
for the most part, I wasn't even sure I liked guys! so the best thought was, if you keep it out of sight- it'll be out of your mind: a saying my mother always said to me when things got bad.

A freshmen in high school shouldn't have to worry about these things, so I just focused on my grades and studying. I was never a high achiever, I for the most part, could care less about academics - but my father was a stern man and would put me 6 feet under if I had anything below a -A.
The only time I felt free from this was the summer, and I'm sure that's how most kids felt. My grandparents owned a cabin up north, that my whole family would drive up to on the weekend.

We'd do things such as bonfires, tubing, fishing, and water skiing. I had never had so much fun in my life till I was up there, with no worries. With all my family going we didn't necessarily have a lot of space, it'd be my dad, grandmother, aunt, uncle, their two sons, and my 3 siblings. Which I can't complain, this meant there was always people around.

My grandma grew to learn that my oldest cousin, Elijah both liked long boarding. This grew a bond, we'd hang out and skate around, whether it'd be up at the cabin, or him driving to our house to hang out with me.  He'd talk about his relationship problems and i'd try to understand, but there was a huge age gap and I couldn't understand things as well. He was 25 while I hadn't even turned 15 yet.

I grew to learn he didn't like his girlfriend, heather, her choice of work specifically, or that she had to lie to everybody about seeing him. While i'd just drop snippets of whatever teenage dating experience I had, which turned out to not be a lot.
With how often he'd come over, he started feeling comfortable drinking around me. I don't mind it given my father was a heavy drinker. but this came to unveil something I would've rather kept in the dark.

He began sexualizing me, in desecrate ways - making seem as though it wasn't weird, or that he didn't mean it in the way he was saying it.
This would stem from things like, the way my body was shaped, or how big my tits were. I grew to be uncomfortable, but I couldn't stop it because my grandmother would always invite him over.

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After a few months, he began giving me foot massages, after our skating. It should have triggered something in my brain, at least red flags, but it didn't. He'd do the same thing to my grandmother, and I never had a close relationship with family, so in my head : I believed it was normal.

He'd continue this, as well as the weird commentary till my grandmothers 80th birthday party. Where all of my family flew in from out of state, to come see her and celebrate.
I for the most part would hide away in my bedroom, so I didn't have to deal with all the people.
But that gave Elijah the perfect opening to hang out with me further.

There wasn't much I could complain about given I was already alone.
He came into my room with a large dixie cup of wine. We began talking as usual, and it was evident that wasn't his first drink. Letting it slide, he decided it would be a good idea to play truth or dare.
So he pulled up a website on his phone, it gave the option of the type of truth or dare you wanted to play.

He asked me which one I wanted to do, and while saying normal.

i was cut off.

He decided that wasn't something HE wanted to do, and picked something at random.

a/n : hii, this is my first book since my old phase i had on here. i wanted to write a story based around events in my life, so this is closer to a biography instead of a nonfiction made up book.

this chapter is things that happened to me, and i wanted to keep it as close as possible without dropping names.

i wanted someone to hear my story and actually listen. so i hope you enjoy this chapter. i didn't want to make it too lengthy - so ill be continuing the next one with the more traumatic stuff. so TW for that!
<3