Burn ▹ Ashton Irwin

fifty

Skylar's POV

I came to a stop next to a crosswalk. I waited patiently with about 10 other individuals until the light flashed on the other side of the street, giving me my signal to keep walking. I didn't know exactly where I was at the moment, but I've been lost for 2 days straight so I wasn't surprised.

I put my head down and dashed across the street. I weaved through the crowds of Los Angeles' early night life and hopped onto the sidewalk once again, shoving my hands into my front pockets. I didn't look up from the ground because I didn't want to risk making eye contact with anybody. I didn't want to see the same looks of confusion and pity I've been receiving for weeks on end. I don't need pity. I just need to get home.

I ducked through a few alleyways as I tried to get as far north as I possibly could. I didn't have a set plan yet, but I'm going to get home somehow. And the sooner I do, the sooner I can forget about this.

I hate to admit it, especially after making such a big deal about this 2 nights ago, but I don't want to forget about Ashton. Not completely, at least. Because at the end of the day, Ashton will always be the most extraordinary person I've ever met, and I believe he deserves some sort of legacy. He'll always be in the back of my mind, even if I one day try to rid my thoughts of him all together. Ashton will always live on, even if he is dead.

I stopped limping along the sidewalk and froze in my steps. I realized then that Ashton's death is tomorrow. Tomorrow. After wandering around LA like a lost puppy for 48 hours, wondering what Ashton was up to, his last day was today.

I shivered and shook my head, continuing on my trek through the night. I passed by countless closed shops with bars in front of their doors. I crossed empty street after empty street. I searched for somebody to talk to, or at least see so I could feel a sense of company, but I was the only one out here. I had no idea what part of town I was in, but it was definitely a quiet one.

I did hear sirens off in the distance, though. It scared the shit out of me and I jumped at the sound of it. Maybe it's Ashton's ambulance, I thought to myself.

"Stop it, Skylar," I cursed under my breath, vigorously shaking my head. I began to walk again, but it was slow and tentative. I was guilty, I knew it, but I didn't want to fully admit it. Thinking about him getting brutally murdered was not a healthy thing to be doing right now. It was just making everything worse.

I finally got that sense of comfort when I spotted a car speeding down the road. I stopped and stared at the vehicle as it passed, and I cherished that moment because it quickly disappeared. The car was gone and I sighed, feeling pathetic for being so lonely that I've resulted to finding comfort in complete strangers.

Man...where is everybody? I wondered as I gazed around. Every store was closed, every home was dark, and every building was empty. Maybe it was God's way of taunting me, as if to say 'Ha ha, you're all alone, Skylar. Nobody can help you now, stupid girl'.

I sighed and kept walking, stuffing my hands into my front pockets once again. Another 20 minutes passed and I felt like I was getting absolutely nowhere. After relying on Ashton to get us places for so long, I seemed to have forgotten how to even carry myself.

I had to stop and rest for a bit. My weak legs could only go so far, after all. I peered down the lonely street and spotted an empty bus stop, seeming to call my name out and beg me to take a seat. I staggered along the sidewalk, cursing to myself each time my foot slipped or a bone of my cracked, and slid onto the bench with sigh of relief on the tip of my tongue.

"Fuck," I muttered, setting my back against the bench. It felt so nice to give my limbs a chance to rest and catch their breath. In all honesty, I have no idea where I am or where I'm going, but what I do is that I'm going north. And north is where my mother lives. I'm hoping she'll help me figure this shit out and get me as far away from this forsaken place as possible. Being stuck in this city - as big as Los Angeles is - made me feel like I was still trapped in Ashton's grasp. That at any moment he could have me crawling back to him, even though that's not what's best for me.