I'M YOUR PUPPET; invincible

chapter 5

    Finally, he did. "Loren, can I ask you something?"

    "Of course," she said as she tugged her mask from over her head, dropping it into the sink.

    "Do you kill people?"

    She paused. Her entire body went still. Stiff. As if she weren't breathing—as if she couldn't. She turned, then, to face him. "Um," she held her breath. Nodded.

    He let loose a breath. It was strained and tense, like it had been building up inside. "Oh."

    Loren dropped her gaze suddenly, her expression and body losing all stiffness. It was like she just...dropped. Falling against whatever she could find to hold her up.

    With a murmur, she asked, "Why?"

    He watched her carefully. Not out of fear or worry, but because he needed answers for himself. Guidance from someone like him. "I just...I was asked to help someone earlier today. And he's not a great guy."

    "He kills people," she filled in.

    "Yeah." Mark sighs, dropping his body onto her couch, hands braced on his knees. "But he's trying to stop someone worse than him to try to make everything better. I don't know if helping him makes me a bad person."

    Loren lifts her gaze, finding him already watching her. His gaze searching hers for answers to a question she had been asking herself for years.

    Tugging off the gloves of her suit, she sits adjacent to him, glad to be rid of the bloodied portions of her clothing. Sighing, she says, "I think that there's a fine line between good and bad. Each thinks the other is bad, but individually, they think they're good. Someone like the Mauler's could look at you and say you're bad, but you would say the same to them." She learns forward, elbows on her knees. "I think you're a good person, Mark. You have a good heart. A really good heart. And you're smart and kind. You don't hurt people if you don't have to. So if you helping a bad guy to make things better for others makes you bad, then so be it. But I don't think it would. I think it would make you good. You'd be helping people; trying to make their lives better."

    He nods, listening intently.

    Loren sighs. "Whoever this person is that's asking for your help clearly needs it. They see the good in you, Mark." She lowers her head, staring at her hands. "There are a lot of people in this world, even heroes, who do bad things. They hurt people. Your dad has hurt people. So have I. I try to avoid it, but sometimes it doesn't end up that way. But truly bad people don't acknowledge their actions as bad. They justify it. Good people who do bad things can acknowledge the bad they've done."

    "Can you?" He asked suddenly. Not because he was questioning her, she knew. But because he was searching, again, for answers. For himself.

    She stared at him for a moment. As if she couldn't piece together her answer. "I—I think I can. I know that I've done bad things, that I can't excuse them. Sure, I was asked to do them, but I still did it. I was violent and brutal. I caused people to feel pain, even if it wasn't solely physical. But pain is pain, and I've inflicted it on people." She leans back, hands shaking. "Everyday, I want to do better. To be better. I don't enjoy hurting people or killing them. I don't think that it should be something I resort to, even if it's asked of me. I—I want to help. But not if it means killing people."

    Mark nods. As if he understands. Or, maybe, because he is truly listening to her. Because he hears her words and what they mean. Because he can see the weight in her eyes, haunting her.

    He reaches forward, grabbing her hands in his. "I think you're a good person, Lo. And if, for whatever reason, you suddenly aren't you, I'll piece you back together. I won't let you go bad."