INVISIBLE STRING

PROLOGUE

“But I can see us lost in the memory. August slipped away into a moment in time. 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August slipped away like a bottle of wine. 'Cause you were never mine” —- AUGUST

Augustine

        Every year my family traveled from New York to Navarre Beach, Florida.

My parents bought a beach house when I was just seven years old. For a seven year old spending summer alone, far away from their friends, it was a nightmare. At first, I thought so too. My mother tried to make me feel better, telling me it was the beach, it was sunny, and the view was gorgeous, but a child doesn’t care about the view. A child wants to have fun and joke with their friends.

I didn't understand. Why would my parents take me away from all my friends? Why would they make me come to this place? This empty place. I didn't want to be here. So why? Of course they always gave me the same practiced answers. "It's just so beautiful!" "I promise you'll like it here, Augustine." "Taking breaks is good for you, love." And just like that the years went by, I gave up on complaining. There was no point, we were coming here every summer whether I liked it or not, so I decided I was going to enjoy it. Friends or no friends.

When I turned thirteen I could read about five romance novels during vacations. To some it might sound boring, but to me? It wasn’t. I found magic in every single page. I liked to read at the coast, where the waves could touch my feet, where I could hear how the waves crashed into each other, a place I used to find so boring and empty, was now full of magic and calmness. Reading was my escape, reading each perspective of the characters, of every girl that someday might be me. I constantly wondered if I would live what I loved to read. Meet a boy and fall hopelessly in love with him. He would hold my hand and kiss my forehead, and I would know he was in love with me just as I was with him.

All I had to do was wait.

Then at sixteen I thought I found that person. How naive can a person be when they are in love...

I met him during a party at the coast, the fire, the beer, and kids my age. I felt so out of place there, so nervous, so lonely. All I wanted to do was leave, I thought that if I was quiet enough I could sneak out, so as I searched for an escape I bumped into a guy. This guy with dark hair and blue eyes that made drowning seem fine. It felt like his piercing blue eyes could see all of my soul, all of me. I blinked once and twice, waiting, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

He just smirked and helped me up. He led me into the floor and we started talking. Making friends wasn’t hard for me. I didn't consider myself a social kind of girl though. We talked about nothing, and everything. I learned his name was James.

Then, I started ignoring the warning signs. I ignored everything. Because James came into my life like a tornado, destroying every single wall I had built around my heart. Every single expectation or standards I had for love. He came and took it all. And I never complained. Because a sick part of me loved to live for the hope of it all. Of  not knowing if he cared enough. He made me smile and laugh, made me blush until I was a mess. For me, that was enough.

I was in love with this boy, I was in love with every curl in his head,  every smirk, every smile, every time he winked at me, made me laugh, kissed me.

Especially when he kissed me,

I always dreamt of my first kiss, I didn’t think much about the kiss, but of the feelings. what would I feel during my first kiss? How would I react? Would it be perfect? It was. I wasn’t disappointed. He made my gray world turn into bright colors.