The next 2 weeks were spent mostly at work, doing the same shit everyday. Me and Lola had met up with Van and the other lads a few times after work, but most days I would meet just Van and we would sit in a cafe somewhere, talking and laughing for hours, ordering so many cups of tea we could fill an ocean. The more time I spent with him, and the more I learnt about him, the more my feelings grew. I couldn't help it. Since that night at Van and Larry's, our behaviour towards each other had become increasingly flirtatious, which was both exciting and nerve wracking, as it was clear to see that something was definitely going to happen between us in the near future, and the more we flirted, the more tension built up between us, making me want him even more. I was sat with Van on Friday afternoon, in the cafe where we first spoke properly.
"Kathleen, I have an offer to make." Van said, sipping his tea.
"Go ahead."
"I landed a gig at the pub tomorrow night, and I wondered if you wanted to come along and watch, you can come back to mine after, have a few drinks, whatever you want." He smirked, as if he was hinting something.
"Yeah, sounds good, are the lads going?" I asked, secretly hoping that they would be busy that night.
"Well, yeah, but they'll probably be out all night, so we'll mostly be alone, pretty much, what about your Lola?"
"She went on holiday yesterday." I sighed, suddenly feeling extremely jealous that she had escaped this shitty place for 2 weeks and was now probably having the time of her life in Italy.
"Never mind, just me and you then," He said cheekily, smirking as he downed the rest of his tea, "I'll be off now, see you tomorrow night love." After a quick kiss on the cheek, he was stepping out the door, collar up, hands shoved in his pockets. I watched him walk down the street, until he was out of sight, before finishing my own drink and making my way out into the evening cold, already feeling excited about Saturday.
The following night couldn't have come quick enough, I'd become incredibly attached to Van over the past few weeks, and the thought of being alone with him for the night excited me greatly. I didn't know if Van considered it a 'date' or just two mates hanging out, but considering our strange, flirtatious relationship, I couldn't help but feel it was.
I decided to dress semi-formal, with black skinnys and a sheer, white shirt. I did my hair and makeup, and with one last look in the mirror, I was satisfied, and ready to leave.
As I was making my way down the stairs, I received a text from Van.
Van: I'm on at 7, meet you at Crowns pub at half 6 x
I smiled, shoving my phone in my bag. It was 6 now, and The Crowns was only at the end of my road, so I had plenty of time.
"Kathleen?" My mum called from the living room, startling me.
"What?" I replied, poking my head round the door.
"Where are you going?" She asked, suddenly noticing my attire.
"Out."
"With who?"
"Van."
"Who's Van?"
"Why do you suddenly care about my life?" I snapped, getting annoyed. The only time she bothered to speak to me was when she wasn't fighting with my dad, otherwise, I didn't exist to her.
"Because I'm your mum!" She cried, getting equally as annoyed.
"Then why don't you start fucking acting like it!" I yelled, my eyes welling up. She looked taken aback, shocked by my sudden outburst. Without answering my question, she turned her head back to the TV, looking unsure of what to say. I stood in silence, concentrating on not crying.
"Have a good night." She said coldly, her tone of voice telling me that she didn't give a shit anymore.
"Fuck off." I bit back, before rushing out the door and down the road. I smoked a fag to relax me, and the mixture of nicotine and cool, fresh air made me feel slightly better as I entered the pub, which was crammed full of middle aged men, who had probably been here since midday. I spotted Bob's Afro at the bar, and wandered over.
"Ayup." I spoke, tapping Van on the shoulder.
"Hiya love!" He cried, kissing me on the cheek. I gave the rest of the lads a hug and hopped on onto a barstool next to Van.
"You look grand tonight, fancy a pint?" I smiled, and before I could even answer his question, he had bought me a beer.
"Thank you," I said, taking a big sip, "you do know your on in 10?"
"Shit!" He cried, downing the rest of his pint, saying goodbye to the lads and darting off into the darkness of backstage.
"You ever seen him play before?" Benji asked, moving over to the stool next to mine. We had a sick view of the stage, the pub wasn't too big, so anywhere you were standing was alright.
"Yeah, only once, he's class though int he."
Benji nodded, before swivelling around in his seat to face the stage, as a lad walked on with a mic.
"Evening ladies and gents, we have a musical performance for you tonight, rayt good one at that, everyone give it up for Van Mccann!"
I felt immensely proud watching Van take his place on stage, earning cheers and claps from everyone, the loudest being from me and the lads. He gave me a wink as he sat on the stool, briefly playing a few strings on his guitar to make sure he was in tune, before clearing his throat.
"Hello everyone, cheers for having me, this songs called Pacifier."
'This is a new one' I thought as he played the opening chords. I couldn't help the smile on my face as I watched him sing. He was a born performer, you could tell by the way he engaged the crowd every now and then, making funny remarks to certain people in the audience.
'Oh but babe, you know I've tried and failed but you, just don't know how it feels to lose, something you'll never have and never will'
His voice was raw and passionate, music was his whole life and you could hear it in his words.
Van's set wasn't long, he played 3 or so more songs before wrapping up and leaving the stage, with the whole pub cheering and clapping. They loved him.
After a few minutes, Van returned back to the bar, the lads all giving him a "well done mate" "sick one Van".
"Nice one rock star." I said, giving him a hug as he came over to me, sitting down next to me again.
"You really liked it?" He said, looking like an excited puppy.
"You're going places lad, I'm tellin ya."
His smile grew as he gave me a 'thank you', before ordering us two more pints.
"We're off now mate, going over to The Phoenix, I'm guessing you two are staying put?" Larry said, leaning over to Van. He gave him a thumbs up and turned back around to me, raising his eyebrows as the others left the pub.
"Just the two of us," he sang, making me giggle. We carried on talking and drinking for a while, before being interrupted by a young, brunette girl, who was wearing way too much perfume.
"Van? Van! Hi!" The girl screeched, wrapping her arms round him. He hugged her back, smiling.
"Lily! What you doing here?" He asked turning towards her. I froze, suddenly feeling very awkward. Who was she?
"I came to see your set! A mate told me you were playing tonight so I had to come see, I always loved your music." She sighed, looking at him lovingly.
What the fuck is going on?
Van carried on chatting to her, seemingly forgetting that I was even here. This girl, Lily, couldn't keep her hands off him, running her fingers down his arm as they talked and laughed. The way they were looking at each other made me feel sick with jealousy, I couldn't take it.
'Fuck this' I thought, getting up and walking out of the bar, fed up of sitting there being ignored, with no fucking clue what was going on. I heard Van call my name a few times, but I ignored him.
I leaned against the wall of the pub, crossing my arms and sighing. Was she his girlfriend? By the way they were acting it wouldn't fucking surprise me. How could I have been so stupid?
"Kathleen, what the fuck?" Van shouted, rushing up to me, a look of both confusion and annoyance on his face.
"What do you mean 'what the fuck'? I clearly wasn't wanted there was I?" I cried, getting annoyed at how he couldn't understand my frustration.
"I didn't know she was gonna be there did I? I didn't tell her to come?"
"Who is it anyway?" I said, taking a step away from him.
"My ex, Lily. We broke up a long time ago, we haven't spoken in at least a year."
"Well does she know that? From what I can see you still seem into her!" I hated myself for getting so angry about this, but I couldn't help it, I liked Van, a lot.
"Why do you care? It's not like me and you are anything, is it?" He spat, the anger evident in his face. His words cut like a knife.
"Oh fuck off, Van." I shot back, equally as vicious, before turning and walking away.
I heard Van swear to himself, before running after me, calling my name. I ignored him and tried walking faster, but he caught up, grabbing my arm and spinning me round. Before I could react, he kissed me furiously, both his hands gripping the back of my head. It happened so fast, I could hardly process what was happening, except this feeling of euphoria, Van's lips against mine, finally. He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead against mine, our breathing both heavy.
"I want you, Kathleen. I want you. Fuck anyone else."
My heart was pounding out of my chest, I could hardly speak.
"Fuck you." I whispered, before kissing him again, slower and more passionate this time. Van drove me up the wall sometimes, but I couldn't get enough of him.
"You're fucking mental." He laughed as I pulled away, making a small smile appear on my face. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head, before taking my hand in his.
"Come on, back to mine." He whispered, leading me down the path. I couldn't help the smile that grew as we walked, stopping every 10 seconds for a kiss. We couldn't get enough of each other, and I fucking loved it.
Van opened the door to the empty cottage, kissing me roughly as soon as we got inside. We left a trail of clothes on the stairs, and by the time we reached Van's room, all that remained was our underwear. I felt an exciting mixture of nerves and pleasure boil up inside of me as we kissed, him on top of me, his hands exploring every inch of my body. I'd had sex before, obviously, but with Van it was something else. He made me feel different, in a good way.
"You are fucking beautiful." He breathed into my neck, leaving sloppy kisses along my jaw. The happiness I felt right now was unbelievable.
We continued in a way like this, the rest of the night unfolding, becoming something I would definitely remember for the rest of my life.
