Ocean and Sky

the beginning and the end

“Satoru, I- I can’t do this anymore” I finally spoke up. A shivered breath leaves my throat as I finally look up at him. I can’t read his face, the blindfold hiding all his feelings behind it. He walks towards me and reaches his hand out to me, but I keep my distance, his hands slump down next to him. “I can’t lose you too” he says, his voice barely above a whisper and my eyes tear up. “I’m sorry, I just can’t bring myself to forgive you” tears rushed down my face, I left our home. 
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“This my little sister” My brother proudly beams to his friends as I awkwardly say hi. “This is Satoru and Shoko” and that is how I met him. He smiled at me, as he towered over me. “Are you sure she’s your sister, you look nothing alike plus she’s so short than you” he examined me, as he bent down to my eye level and I noticed his blue eyes, even through his dark lenses. “Don’t bother her Satoru” my brother states and yet he ruffles my hair with a cunning smile on his face.

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The next day, I came to pack up my things. He’s still here, always is. “Please don’t do this” he almost begged. I couldn’t even look up at him as I packed my things away. “I have to,” I whispered, “I know you understand.” He followed behind me, “I had no choice”, I kept moving, picking up our shared memories from every corner of our home. “I know but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

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Satoru Gojo, the man he was. Falling for him was as easy as breathing in air, as meant to be and obvious as the rain falling down on us.

With an umbrella over his head, he sits down, giving shelter to a street cat. There was his kindness. His big heart, all out in the open.

I sat down beside him, our umbrellas crashing.
“It's so cute” I raised my hand to pet the cat.
He chuckles beside me as the cat plays with him. I glance at him, the soft smile on his face, almost takes my breath away.

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He stops following me and groans, pulling his hair back. And I continue to pack, leaving behind traces of me and taking up everything I'll miss of him.
And soon enough, I was done. I glanced at him. His expression was blank, almost empty. He stands still leaning against the wall. “I'll always be here”, he says and I leave with a heavy heart.

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“Whatchu got there?” He peers over my shoulder into my plate before, stuffing his face with the chocolate brownie before I could even stop him.
I rolled my eyes at him and he grins at me.
And I felt my heart skipping a beat.

And since then somehow I always managed to have something sweet on me, so that he would come close and take it from me. Just so I could feel my heart do that thing again. Not that it was necessary, he loves to be in the personal space of others but because I also knew that he loves sweets.

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I knew he was hiding what he felt. That's typical Satoru. He doesn't show any weaknesses, which includes emotions. Especially emotions. Negative Emotions. He always hid them well, but that doesn't mean he's carrying them well. God, I knew exactly what I was doing to him but I couldn't stop myself. And I hate myself for it.

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“Here” he placed my favourite canned coffee on my table as he sat down on the chair next to me.
“What's this for?”
“Aren't you going to stay up for most of the night, even though the exams are like a week away?” he yawned and stretched himself.
I looked up at him with an affectionate, warm stare. When did he even notice this?
He shrugged his shoulders and continued to take out his books.
Is this a study date???