Jackalopes

Appendix pt 1: Myxomathias

Writings upon the underworld and the realms beyond the shadow of death, how to survive in those ancient worlds and gain power greater than that of the living cosmos itself!!!!

By the six mages in arms and their leader, Myxomathias the boneless. The other mages sends their greetings to whoever may find this tome, which was thrown into hell

Being the astonishing tale of how magic was restored to the one who had it stolen from that old enemy Tymor the death-bunny and his servans

Found by Dr Vincent Wolf, who had the hole to hell opened again!

Assisted by the mage Cyrrilius Noir the Pink, whose real name is Kletus Cottontail

Pre-ramble

AS I SIT HERE, on the doorstep of the thirteenth pylon I try to find some peace and solace (not to mention more ink and parchment!). This is a pylon full of sin and debauchery, for the shades are happy having traveled most of the safe road. THEY CARE NOT for the mysteries of the cosmos and this underworld!

But as a wizard of the NINTH level I feel it is my DUTY to leave this scroll for those that comes after. Yea, this MERE PARCHMENT shall discuss how a wizard or witch MAY BEST SURVIVE the underworld and even use its power FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT!

Report 1: Life

I think every magician that reaches the pinnacle of their art have two ways to go about the remainder of their lives. They may grow complacent and keep working the world to their liking until they perish. I was on the brink of doing so, I am fully willing to admit. I was carried along on a tidal wave of blood and bones, smiles of the people beneath me and the warm fire of the sun above. But a single child posed such a very important question that it finally roused me from my waking slumber:

"What is the difference between green and yellow magic?" the poor wretch said.

You may not think much of this, but it startled me to the core. A magician can take a color and wear it with pride, but if for example red and grey magic can accomplish the same thing with different words and rituals...Are they not really the same? Does it not follow that magic must come from a single source? Why not hunt that, then, instead of squabble endlessly about orders and rank?

I DID WHAT NO MAGE SHOULD DO AND TURNED TO THE SCIENTISTS! But I had no choice; I had an idea that no archlibrarian of any magical school would listen to. I HAD TO GO TO PEOPLE WITH NO MORALS WHATSOEVER!!!

Report 2: Death

I immediately knew it was my duty to find the source of all magic. Magic comes from the unknown, and the closest realm from our meager existence is the underworld. Thus, not wishing to train myself as a shaman I instead created the order of Deathnauts. Working with the scientists we took poison to enter the channels and lands of the dead. Healers were always on standby to revive us as soon as life left our bodies and the soul began to trickle down. In this way we learned much. BUT BEHOLD!! One day I ventured a little too deep and became a revenant, such as you may now find me. How fragile the silver thread that binds the soul to the body is! But it must be the magic that is beckoning me as I cannot find it any other way! But as of yet my experiments have proven fruitless. The form our souls takes, what the rulers of the underworld calls a shade, is very weak. Trying to extract magic from other shades I have made many souls collapse in on themselves and thus become lost forever like putrid worms. BUT IT WAS NECESSARY TO GATHER KNOWLEDGE and their sacrifice shall be repaid a THOUSANFOLD, no wait, a MILLIONFOLD, or maybe a FIVE-HUNDREDFOLD...?

Report 3: The hole

The beings that crawl below the underworld, old as time and both life and deathless...they spew magic from every orifice. The head in the hole we found. Me and my companions vowed to continue below to the places where not even the gods of the underworld dares to go!

No sane wizard would bring back reports from this cursed place, but I shall, although I cannot put proper words to it. Perhaps in the tongue of my masters, the raw head of the north? Yes...They would describe what I saw as XENRIKUOORAKAAAAAAYRIIIIIIII!!!!!!

Report 4: Regarding the pylons

Shades stick in group of at least four and there seems to be more of them the further I go. I have taken samples of both shades and jackalope, one of the species of this cursed place that appear to be living and solid. I do not think the shades have a heart or brain. Rather it appear that their earthly possessions clothe their souls and so burdens them with deep layers of robes and vestments. Though I lack proof I am confident in this hypothesis. I shall continue my own journey to gather proof and on heaven's footstep I shall RETURN to the land of the living...somehow.

Report 5: The king of the underworld

During my travels I have seen it many times. The underworld is ruled by a terrifying and ugly creature. Its abode of this creature is a gigantic moon that the ruler uses to spy on all creatures in this blasted realm and control the magic of their souls. HOW CAN EVERYBODY BE SO BLIND!?!? I see now that my next step is penetrating that fortress...BUT HOW!? I shall leave my companions for now and enter the forest of that wicked spirit's children. Yes...I see now that my path is clear and laid out neatly before me.

Report 6: The Canini's Playground

As is common knowledge in the underworld all of their Games take place under smallfoxes' supervision. They are, in turn, supervised by a being known simply as grandpa. However the particular Game I had the opportunity to study is saddled with circumstances of the utmost RASHNESS AND OPPOSITION THE LIKES OF WHICH I DO NOT BELIEVE I HAVE EVER SEEN BEFORE!

The rules of the caninis game are as follows:

Two playleaders are opposing each other in a game of skill and magic.

A playleader must not play unfairly and make the game too one-sided.

Do not bring shades, humans or jackalopes into the game.

What old grandpa says goes. Old grandpa is an elderly fox set to guard them. He was not there now when I watched the games probably due to the barriers.

Having managed to finally capture and vivisect a canini (the specimen I captured had the role of a leather shearer called Woeborn-Last-Wednesday) I made a number of interesting discoveries...

They have a much denser composition of soul than most creatures I know of. This makes them very attuned to fire-magic.

Their brain has a completely different shape from ours and is in fact located in the belly. How this affects their morals I am not yet sure.

Their memory seem to be different from ours; they do not place too much regard for the past or the present, instead they seem to live a little bit into the future compared to us.

Leaving the corpse to rot I was surprised to find it jumping vividly into the wild blue yonder, entrails still dangling from my discoveries. It looked quite happy and promised to tell its mother about this kindly treatment. I now grew a bit nervous, for neither jackalope nor shade that I had experimented on and left for dead had reacted in quite this manner. I am, after all, a stranger in a strange land and thus fear the ruler of the underworld. If he knows that I am here he may keep me here forever! If so, I shall never be able to take the knowledge from this place to the rest of the Deathnouts...

Report 7-8: Conclusion and Despair

If so I would have to accept that I have killed myself and that I am stuck here. I would have to accept that I have no faith to guide me, no friends that care about me and that I am lonely. Not alone, for that would imply that there is still hope that someone may reach me. No, I'd be lonely. The shades are flocking around me, offering me strong drinks and encouraging me on my journey. BUT IT IS NOT TRUE! I MAY LOOK LIKE A SHADE AND BEHAVE LIKE A SHADE, BUT I AM NOT A SHADE!!!! I am NOT like them! I am giving up on this journey! First thing in the morning I shall turn back and head for the Outer Darkness where I shall find a path back to life...