Cross of the Damned.

ᴄʀᴏꜱꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍɴᴇᴅ.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The church was empty. There was no one in the pews where people would normally be praying, and no one was standing at the altar preaching. It was completely dark beside the soft light candles placed strategically around the altar. Maxine sat in the middle front pew, her fingers twisted in her lap, her thoughts racing, and her mind restless. She had done it. She had broken the rules. The basic rules should be easy to follow. Easy to those committed enough. Was she truly committed? That question lingered thoughtlessly in her mind, and no matter how much she prayed, she couldn't erase it. She knew God could not forgive her this time. The weight of everything pressed roughly against her chest, the feeling almost suffocating, the voices in her head drowned out the prayers she whispered under her breath.

"Merciful Father, I come before you with a repentant heart, acknowledging my sins and shortcomings. I confess my need for your forgiveness and mercy. Wash me clean, O' Lord, and create in me a pure heart. I trust in your unfailing love and rely on your grace to restore and renew me."

Her eyes flickered toward the altar, watering with tears but she pushed them back. The golden, almost rusted display crucifix gleamed in the dim candlelight, Jesus's crucified body looking down at her. But the longer she stared at it, the more it seemed to distort, its frown drawing longer. Melting, almost. It was twisting, becoming something darker. His eyebrows furrowed and she swore she saw it blink. She closed her eyes, but the image didn't fade from her memory.

"You think you're forgiven, don't you?" an echoey voice whispered like a soft breath against her ear, it felt real. As if someone were standing beside her, but no one was there. She spun around, eyes scanning all corners of the church, but no one was there. Not a single living soul.

Her pulse quickened by the minute. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. No, she was just imagining things. Like the dripping crucifix. She had to be, it was late and she was tired. But just as her heart rate finally slowed, the voice came again, this time closer.

"Tell me, Maxine... do you truly believe He can save you now?" the voice was more raspy, more distorted. She blinked once, closing her eyes. Praying can fix this. Praying has always helped her in the scariest of moments. It was her way of coping. It felt safe.

"Wash me from my guilt and cleanse me of my sin. I acknowledge my offense; my sin is before always..." She paused, opened her eyes, and blinked. This was the first time in her life that praying didn't feel safe.

"You are one of God's many, many mistakes, Maxine. You are nothing but a pathetic waste of skin and bone. Trust me when I say, I am well aware of how it aches." The voice paused momentarily, "You've resented me your entire life but what stops you now? You have failed God and He will not forgive you after such. No one will. You're a disgusting pig, trapped in the body of a disgusting girl. And you know it, don't you, Maxine?"

She could not speak, not one word. She tried to muster up something to say but all she could do was stare. Stare at the crucifix above the altar. The twisted and distorted face of Jesus seemed to glare at her, almost like he was mocking her. Just then, Jesus's crucified body began to drip. Rapidly. The rusted metal of the piece dripped until it all melted off onto the ground below, leaving the cross placed there against the wall, alone. Then, it slowly began to turn upside down. The candle flames surrounding the altar turned darker and darker until they were almost red. Maxine stood up rapidly, walking directly in front of the altar, her eyes not leaving the cross where the body of Jesus Christ had just melted off.

"You do not need him, Maxine. Turn to me. I can help in ways that he never could. He is not as powerful and forgiving as people make him out to be. And I should know."

She couldn't stop staring at the cross, straight ahead. Like a deer in headlights. She noticed everything, the rusted corners, the rough texture, everything. "You speak blasphemy." She whispered. The red light of the candles reflected in her eyes.
"It's not blasphemy if it's true." A sinking feeling consumed her body as her breath came quick, she felt her eyes tearing up once again. Her eyes continued to fixate on the cross, her eyesight blurring in and out of focus.

"Do you think you can hide from what you've done? The truth always comes out eventually, no matter what you do, you'll never be forgiven, Maxine. Never. And the truth will always haunt you. But I think you know that don't you?" the voice whispered again, a cruel noise ringing in her ear. Her hands trembled at her sides, a sinking feeling still in her stomach. She closed her eyes and squeezed them tight.

And then—everything went silent. One peaceful moment of silence. But just as quickly as the moment began, it was all over. And the walls around her seemed to close in as the flickering candles surrounding her disappeared all at once. The church around her faded into nothing as she blinked, and instead of the church room, she saw her dorm room. The same suffocating four walls that she had grown to completely despise.

Out of nowhere, a girl slammed the door to her room open. She was met with a girl, with fiery red hair on her head and a clean school uniform on her body. It was Beck. Maxine had always tried to avoid her. Every single cruel word that came out of Beck's mouth was specifically designed to tear Maxine down. But today... today it was different.

"You're seriously still sitting in here crying?" Beck paused, chuckled a bit, then spoke again, "Oh my God, are you praying?" She chuckled again, "You're seriously up here wasting your life away by praying to a God who doesn't care about you at all?" Maxine tried to ignore her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and attempted to plug her ears to drown out Becks poisonous words, but they grew louder with every breath. Becoming increasingly harder to cancel out with her hands. "You think you're worth anything? No. You're just a joke. Look at you. Always sitting alone in your little corner. Wanna know something funny?" She continued to laugh as she spoke, laughing like she heard the most hysterical joke, "No one here actually likes you. The truth is, they just pity you because you're so broken."

Maxine's heart was pounding in her chest, at this point, the rapid pounding was the only thing she could hear. Her hands began shaking and she gripped her bedsheets. She couldn't take it. Not today. Not tomorrow. Never again. Not anymore. Maxine stood up abruptly, the rage inside her building and building inside of her, her face felt warm and her head felt so empty but so crowded all at once.

"You think I'm nothing?" Maxine whispered, looking into Beck's eyes. She didn't know how she had moved, but very suddenly, her hands were gripping the cold, smooth surface of the statue on her desk. It was a sweet-looking angel made of marble. A gift from her mother, a reminder of her faith and loyalty. But now, it's clutched safely between her palms. Usually, she would hold it for comfort. But not this time.

Beck's laughter echoed in the room just before everything went so instantly quiet as Beck realized what she was about to do. Maxine's breath was quick, her heart was pounding so loudly she could hear nothing else as the blood rushed to her head.

She didn't think. She couldn't. All that mattered was silencing the words. The desperate pleading didn't stop her. It didn't even slow her down. Each swing felt like a release, like the final exhale after holding her breath for too long. And even then, the voice never stopped. But it was quieter now. Distant. That was until everything went completely still. Completely silent... she blinked, and her eyes were again straight ahead, staring at the upside-down cross. She looked down at her hands, covered in dark red, the voice that haunted her returned once again, with a sinister laugh,

"How long can you run from your sin, Maxine?"

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚