~ Panic Attack Support ~

~ Through The Dark ~

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The morning after Seo Yeon's worst panic attack in months arrived quietly. The sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting pale stripes across the floor. Ju-Won had stayed by her side the entire night, even after her breathing had slowed, and her body had stopped trembling. He had never left her, not once, keeping her grounded with his presence.

But Seo Yeon had hardly slept. The residual weight of the panic attack clung to her like a fog, heavy and unyielding. The memory of how out of control she had felt lingered—how she had almost lost herself in the storm of her own mind. She lay still, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, trying to piece together the events of last night.

Ju-Won hadn't said anything when she had finally managed to fall asleep in his arms, but his touch had remained gentle, soothing. He had known better than to fill the silence with words. He had just held her through the storm and waited for it to pass. She had felt his heartbeat against her cheek, steady and reassuring, anchoring her back to the present when the panic had started to pull her away.

But now, with the daylight filtering in, Seo Yeon couldn't shake the feelings of failure that clung to her, even though she knew deep down that they weren't true. She had been doing better. She *was* doing better.

She closed her eyes, trying to push away the wave of shame that followed. But it was hard to ignore the fact that, just when she had thought she was past it, the panic had returned—worse than ever before. What if it didn't stop? What if it kept coming back, stronger each time?

"Seo Yeon?" Ju-Won's voice broke through her thoughts. She turned her head to see him standing in the doorway of their bedroom, his expression soft and filled with concern. "Are you awake?"

She nodded slowly, her throat tight as she sat up in bed, pulling the covers around her. "I didn't mean to—" she started, but the words faltered. She hadn't meant to fall apart last night. She hadn't meant for things to get that bad.

Ju-Won stepped into the room, sitting down beside her on the bed. He didn't need to ask. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, the lingering tension in her shoulders, the way her hands fidgeted with the edge of the blanket.

"Hey," he said, his voice gentle. "It's okay. You're okay."

Seo Yeon swallowed, her chest still tight from the aftereffects of the panic attack. It was hard to believe she was okay, not when she felt so fragile, so shaken. "I don't understand," she whispered, her voice small. "I thought I was getting better. I haven't had one of those in months. I thought I was finally... normal."

"You are normal," Ju-Won said, his words steady and firm. "You're doing so well. This doesn't change that. It's okay that it happened. Panic attacks don't just disappear because we want them to. Sometimes they come back. It doesn't mean you're not making progress, Seo Yeon."

Seo Yeon took in a shaky breath. His words were soothing, but there was a part of her that still struggled to believe them. How could she be okay when she still felt like this? How could she be okay when she could still be so easily overtaken by fear, so easily pulled under?

"I hate it," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I hate that I can't control it. I hate that it still has this power over me."

Ju-Won's hand gently rested on hers, his fingers warm and steady. "I know it's hard," he said softly. "But this doesn't define you. The panic isn't who you are, Seo Yeon. It's just something that you go through. It doesn't take away from everything else you are—everything you've worked for. And I'm proud of you."

She felt the heat of his hand against hers, the sincerity in his voice. And though her mind was still clouded with doubt, there was something in his words that made her pause—made her want to believe them, even just a little.

"I don't want you to worry," she said quietly, her eyes avoiding his for a moment. "I don't want to keep dragging you into this... my mess."

Ju-Won chuckled softly, the sound warm and reassuring. "You're not a mess, Seo Yeon. You never were. And you're never dragging me anywhere. I'm here because I want to be here. To help you through this."

Seo Yeon's chest tightened again, but this time it wasn't from the familiar panic—it was from the wave of emotion that rose within her, unbidden and raw. She had never been good at asking for help, at leaning on others. She had spent so much of her life trying to control everything, trying to handle things alone. But Ju-Won... he was different. He had always been different. He was her calm in the storm, her anchor when the world around her threatened to pull her under.

"I'm scared," she admitted in a shaky voice. "What if it doesn't stop? What if I can't handle it? What if I hurt you by needing you so much?"

Ju-Won's expression softened, and he cupped her face gently, turning her gaze toward him. "You don't hurt me, Seo Yeon. Never. I'm here because I love you. I'm here because I want to be. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how many times this happens. We'll face it together, every time."

She let out a slow breath, the weight of his words sinking in, grounding her. For the first time since the attack, she felt a small thread of hope begin to unfurl in her chest. Maybe she wasn't broken. Maybe, just maybe, she could get through this, even if it meant leaning on him more than she ever had before.

"I don't know how to do this," Seo Yeon whispered, her voice cracking with vulnerability. "But I'm trying."

Ju-Won smiled softly, his thumb brushing across her cheek. "That's all anyone can do. You're doing great. You don't have to have all the answers right now. I'll be with you, step by step. Always."

Seo Yeon nodded slowly, leaning into his touch. It felt like a promise—his quiet, unwavering presence in the face of her fear, a constant reminder that she wasn't alone, no matter how overwhelming the storm inside her became.

For the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to believe it. Maybe the road ahead wouldn't be easy. Maybe there would be more panic, more moments when she felt like she was slipping. But as long as he was by her side, as long as he kept his hand in hers, she could keep going. One step at a time.

And for that, she was grateful.

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