She said the air is so clean. (Matty Healy fanfic)

10

Im cold.

Its dark and im cold.

Before opening my eyes I reach out, hoping to find Matty, but instead its just an empty made bed.

I sit up. Dazed. I reach to my bed side table and turn my lamp on, then slowly rise out of bed and grab a sweatshirt from the dresser.

"Matty?" I shout.

No answer. What the fuck.

I look to the front door to see his pile of clothing gone, the only thing that remains is his leather jacket on the couch.

I pick the jacket up and look in the pockets, checking to see if he had left his phone. All I find is a bag of chronic, a wad of cash, 2 lighters, a carton of cigarettes, and a little bag filled with a white substance which Im guessing is coke.

I decide to send him a text letting him know hes left his things here.

"Hey, you left your jacket on my couch, why'd you leave? -J"

I didn't expect a text back, since its 3am.

"Sorry love, had some business to attend to. Stay up for 10 minutes, ill swing by and grab it -m"

After about 15 minutes i hear a knock on the door, I raise from the sofa and open the door.

"Hey" I say hoarsely

He walks in and grabs my face quickly and kisses me with a want.

"No" I shakily whisper into his lips, his forehead resting against mine.

"Why not?" He whispers back.

I tear my gaze from his lips and look at his eyes, his pupils are much larger than usual, and his breath smells of wine.

"Why do you only come around when you're high?" I sigh and turn toward the sofa, grabbing his jacket. I push it to his chest and he looks at me wearily.

"Im not"

"Yes you are Matty, can you get home? Or do you need to crash here?" I say as I plop onto the couch, returning to the popcorn I made while waiting.

"If you dont mind ill stay" he says laying his jacket down and joining me on the sofa.

"I don't mind" I lie. Im truly hurt that he came here high.

He lays my head in my lap.

"Do you fancy me J?"

"You're not all bad" I lie again, I like him a lot more than im showing.

"Alright, what are we watching" he nods at the television. My hands run through his messy curls atop his head.

"I dont know" I giggle.

"Why would you watch the telly with no sound?" He chuckles a bit.

"More interesting this way, mysterious and imaginative"

"Seems reasonable. Im sorry im high" he says focused on the TV.

"Dont be"

"I quite like your pajamas" he said pulling at the fabric on my leg.

"Why thank you, I quite like your hair" I mimic him and tug a curl.

"You're so nice to me, even though I've been such a prick to you. Why is that?" He's so straight forward.

"You're such a prick, yet you keep returning to the bitch that has shouted at you on numerous occasions" I sigh. "I have a history of falling for the bad guy" I admit.

"I guess I'm a relentless, son of a bitch eh?" He chuckles. "You seem to have centered me with your insane shouting. Plus, you're hot when you yell"

We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Don't you find it strange that everything I know about you is from google?"

"No, not really. There's quite a few misconceptions about me though"

"Oh. You never actually dated taylor swift did you?" I ask duly.

"No" he answers quickly.

"Gemma Janes was a real relationship though?" I asked cautiously.

"I wish I could google you and know everything" he sighs.

"Im boring baby."

"No, you're the most intriguing person I've met in a long time, is the only thing you searched for about me involved with my relationships? He giggle.

I blush.

"Ive also learned that you have a brother, you're from manchester, you have an amazing voice, drugs and sex are a popular topic of yours, and a lot of your fans call you noodle boy?" I chuckle.

"Yeah, I dont understand the noodle thing" he laughs and sits up. "Tell me about you"

"Well, Im Juliette Teller, I have 2 brothers, my parents are an unstable mess, I'm from Virginia, I cant sing for shit, And I think about death regularly."

"Shit, your a damned mess" he smiles. "I think about death too, not that I want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. Theres so much to see and so much to do, but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. Im still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can't quite figure out what the hell I'm doing, or how to get out of it."

I grab the sides of his face and deeply kiss him, climbing onto his lap.

"You are the most intriguing person ive met in a long while" I sigh. "You're a frustrating, intriguing, adorable, mysterious asshole. Thats why I'm so nice to you, I want so badly to know you, on levels deeper than everybody else."

He pushes me onto back on the couch, his body rests in between my legs.

He sucks on my neck and ear.

"Do you want this?" He asks, halting his kisses.

"Yes" I beg.

"Bed?" He asks then picks me up off the couch and carries me to the bed.

"Matty" His name escapes my lips as he sucks on my neck once again.

"You said you wanted to know me on every level" he mumbles into my ear and kisses his way down. "Lets start here" he mumbles again and kisses the waist line of my pants.