Why Can't There Be Another Way

Chapter 3

Athena

I've learned that District 13 is very linear. Every morning, I've got pretty much the same schedule inked on my arm. I've memorized it to the point that I don't need to look at it anymore.

After breakfast, I go out to train with the soldiers. Most of them are a lot older than me. That didn't intimidate me when I first arrived. I've been training on my physical strength for as long as I can remember. Sometimes, during these training sessions, when we run drills, I'm brought back to the Academy. The training is not all that different. Except everything 13 does is more intense than anything the Academy ever did.

When I first started using a gun, every time it went off, I would go back to the cannon. It took some time to shake off those memories. They're always there, but at least I can function without feeling like I'm back in the arena. Apart from that, I'm the best in my class. Another quirk of coming from District 2, I guess. Assembling guns and firing them is basically in my blood.

In the afternoon, I usually help out with manufacturing weapons. As someone from District 2, I've been taught this at school. We'd go to the factories to observe the process. President Coin deemed me fit to help with manufacturing work.

It's a boring process. Most of the time, I'm looking over weapons that were already used. I tested them to see if they worked fine. If they did, I put them in one pile, if they didn't, I put them in the other pile. Other times I'd sort through ammunition. Rarely I'd actually be allowed to build or fix one.

Sometimes I'm summoned to see President Coin. Boggs would usually come get me to see the President. He was the one who found me first when I collapsed. He's cool, I prefer him over Coin. I realized that she runs this District awfully similar to how Snow runs Panem.

I don't say anything, but during my downtime, I spend my time analyzing my day, picking apart body language and conversations from the others. It's the only way to keep my mind from wandering to the Games and how broken my family is right now.

That night, I find it increasingly hard to fall asleep. My roommate is out cold. She's okay. Anitta is the only friend I have in District 13. I don't bother getting close to anyone. They all follow their president, who I don't trust completely.

I fidget with the bracelet Bellona gave me. There is no reason for President Coin to keep me. Other than my knowledge in manufacturing and being a soldier, she wouldn't need me. Anitta mentioned something about an epidemic wiping out a lot of people from 13. Coin just needs me because she lost a lot of people. I need to find a way to ensure my place here.

It could be paranoia. Anitta and Boggs keep telling me that I'm safe, and that I don't need to keep my guard up all the time. But what do they know about danger? They've been secluded in this underground District their whole lives. They don't understand what goes on in the other Districts. I doubt President Coin does either.

I've never voiced out any of my more unruly thoughts. That would just be rebelling against the rebels. I guess I am one now, though. I've never considered myself to be a rebel. Not like the people from District 11. But I suppose I did cheat the Capitol, so I would be defined as a rebel.

Everyone in District 13 says how President Snow is a dictator that should be put down. Coming from District 2, I've never truly seen it that way. But ever since getting reaped alongside my brother, I've started to question why we so blindly follow the Capitol. It's clear that we'll always be inferior. We'll always be their entertainment. The gift they give to the victors is what prompts the honor and glory system in District 2. It's what I've been taught.

Every time someone mentions the Capitol and its rules, I can't help but compare it to District 13. In fact, everything is a lot stricter here than the Capitol. Everyone here thinks it's better than the Capitol because it's a safe haven. The longer I live here, the more I'm starting to see the cracks.

Eventually, sleep does come for me. I dream that I'm back in the arena, fighting for my life as I watch Horus die in front of my eyes. I scream as his body goes limp and I see, standing behind him with a bloodied spear in his hand, is President Snow, his features all too snake-like. I wake up covered in sweat. My roommate, Anitta, looks at me with concern. It's not the first time I wake up like this, but it has been a while since a nightmare came to get me.

"Another nightmare?" she asks quietly.

"Yeah," I say between breaths. I'm staring ahead of me, trying not to think too much about it. Snow doesn't know I escaped. He couldn't have.

"We've got two hours before we have to get up. Try to get some sleep."

I watch as Anitta settles herself back in bed. I wait until I see the light rise and fall of her chest. I don't do as I'm advised. Sleep is where my nightmares are. My brain is already too awake for me to go back to sleep. All I can do is find ways to keep me distracted as my fingers start fiddling with the bracelet.

If there is one thing I'm actually grateful for, it's that District 13 has provided me lessons on technology. The Capitol is a world filled with it, and to fight it, I need to understand it. I was surprised I managed to convince Coin with that.

If I want to keep my safely, I've got to put Coin in a checkmate once she makes her move. Any sane person would say I'm just a teenager who's been through her fair share of trauma and what I'm doing is unreasonable. I'd say that's wrong. The only unreasonable thing is having to find a place to shelter after cheating one oppressive system. I need to make sure I have a place here, even if I've got to use fear to get what I want. That's how Snow makes sure people stay in line. And I'm sure Coin has her own methods.

Without anything to occupy it, my brain drifts over to Horus. No, I can't let that happen. I've got to stay focused. I'm in a place that will feed on my weakness. I've got to show I'm strong and that I belong here. They can't try to kill me like they did in the Games. I have no weaknesses here, they can't succeed.

Another thought suddenly occurred to me. Today, Horus will start his Victory Tour. He'll make his first public appearance since the Games, then he'll go to District 12 and finish with District 2.

It's already been six months since the 73rd Hunger Games ended. The 74th is only six months away. Then it's the Quarter Quell. Horus will begin his mentorship. I wonder how much of the Victory Tour I'll be able to watch.

Anitta begins to stir. I hide the piece of wire I was fiddling with. I try to remind myself that Anitta is from District 13. She's not my friend. Not really. More like an acquaintance. But wasn't that the same thing that was going on between Tsunami and I? I've relaxed around Anitta, but I would never let my guard down completely.

A/N: I tried to write her as being slightly irrational, and maybe not okay in the head since she did escape the Hunger Games.