Skinny Dipping At Dusk

Don't Push Me Away

 

I reread his words about a million times before the water works came on…again. Silent tears fell down my cheeks and I sniffled in a little. God how many times could I cry in one day? I shouldn’t have read this, it only made it worse.

A little flash of movement flickered in front of me and my eyes moved upward. Standing in the doorway was Landon, wearing a plain black tee and fiting blue jeans. How he managed to get the door open without me knowing was a mystery to me, but it didn’t matter. What was he doing here?

I tried to form words in my mouth, but nothing came out. Silence swept over us as Landon gazed down at me with a small frown. “Mia, I-“

“Why are you here?” I interrupted, rage practically cutting through me like a knife. I had never felt so mad before.

He sighed and leaned against the door. I knew he was on edge by the way he ran his hand through his chocolate brown locks. Why did Landon have to be so good looking?

I shook the thoughts from my head and focused on my anger. “I asked you a question,” I spit out after getting no reply.

“I just felt like we left things, well a little messed up. You left so suddenly, and—“

“I didn’t feel very welcomed,” I said interrupting once again.

Landon sighed. “Don’t tell me you’re here to apologize Landon, I think we’re past that.”

He nodded his head, and moved forward to sit on the bed. His weight shifted the whole mattress, and I found myself sliding closer to him. “Well I did come here to apologize, because I should and I mean it.”

His eyes shifted down to the journal notes in my fingers and he sighed. My hand was shaking as I reached over and handed him his private things. “I shouldn’t have read the page, I didn’t read anything else. Just take them.”

Landon shook his head. “I don’t regret giving them to you; I just wished you would have read them earlier.”

Before I could help myself, the words slipped from my mouth. “You have a sister?”

Immediately, I regretted my actions because an expression filled with pain covered his face. He nodded his head slowly, looking down at his hands. I could tell it was something he didn’t like to talk about.

“She was two years older than me, last year her and her friends were out drinking and they got into a crash. Everyone lived but her.”

I winced at the thought of losing someone close to me, and the person who popped into my mind first was Nate. How would it feel to lose Nate over night to some car crash? “Were you two close?”

“Inseparable,” he answered immediately.

I didn’t really know what to say, and I didn’t want to say sorry because I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. He was probably sick of people saying sorry to him all the time.

“But like I said, I’m here to apologize. Look Mia, the way I treated you the other day wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t have played with you like that, and I know how much it upset you. Right now, there’s too much crap in my life, and I can’t dump it all on you. I really like you, more than any other girl, but that’s why I can’t have you. Because I can’t pull you into my crappy life an expect you to stay through it all. I can’t do that to you.”

His words seemed genuine, and I knew he was being completely honest but I still had some anger left in me. “You’re right, what you did to me wasn’t fair. Do you really think of me as a mistake? Do you wish that kiss never happened?”

Landon bit his lip and lowered his head in shame. “I mean every word, and I think it was a mistake to make things worse, but that kiss is all I’ve been thinking about since. I can’t get it out of my head.”

Yeah, I can’t get you out of my head.

Sighing, I reached over and placed my hand on his. He looked up at me with a strange expression on his face. “Then why are you doing this to me?”

“I can’t pull you into my crappy life it isn’t fair!” he argued.

I pulled away from Landon and rolled my eyes. “Did you ever think to ask me what I think? It’s my choice to make, not yours.”

“I just can’t do that to y-“

“I can help you through this Landon, you can’t do this alone.”

“I can get through this on my own, I just-“

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” I finally raised my voice, and I didn’t care if half the camp heard me. “All I want to do is help and all you do is push and push and push. Soon you’ll have no one Landon, not even Luke because you’ll push him away too.”

Landon’s eyes glazed over, and I thought that maybe he would cry. I wasn’t trying to be harsh, but I needed to know that he was pushing someone away that cared for him. I could help him through everything.

“I push you away because I’m scared of how you make me feel,” he finally admitted.

Leaning over the bed, Landon gently took my face in his hand and smiled. His gorgeous eyes stared down at me and butterflies erupted in the bottom of my stomach. “I’m scared of you because whenever I’m with you, all I want to do is this.”

Without another word, Landon leaned down and gently placed his lips against mine. It wasn’t as hungry as a kiss like the first time, but it was just as pleasant. His lips tasted like peppermint and I sighed inwardly as he pulled away.

My eyes were still closed when he spoke again. “And this.”

Before I knew it, Landon had me underneath him. This time, the kiss was more than just a gentle peck. His hands found their way to the small of my back, and crept up my shirt spreading tingles throughout my body. His mouth urgently moved across my face, his rough kisses stinging my lips, and then my neck.

Landon suddenly pulled away, his eyes filled with joy, passion and so much more. “Why do you do this to me?” he asked, rolling over and laying down next to me.

I didn’t know what to say as I leaned my head against his chest. “I want you to know that I won’t leave you Landon, I promise.”

His hand gently stroked my hair and he moved forwards to place a kiss on the top of my head.

“I know that now.”

Whoooooaaaa!! Finally!!!!! 

*Crowd cheers*

I hope you liked this one, be ready for one last chapter!