Rebel (Civil War Period)

Chapter 12..

Lacey had always seemed to be an honourable, kind man, but I have caught glimpses of him that make me think otherwise.... but I am certain he will never dare harm me. The wedding night had been so painful, and I hoped my baby was alright. I had been a fool to believe every man would be as tender, loving and gentle as Jasper.

I want nothing more than for this war to be over, so that I can finally be with my husband, my true and only husband.

I despise being called Mrs Lacey, and I cringe at the thought that Charles will think of Jasper's child as his. But I will endure it so that our child will be safe and will have a future. For who knows how long this damned war will last? Four years it's been already...

One comfort I do have: Jasper has written to me again. I will see him soon, and then everything I have to endure will be rewarded.

...§...

Georgiana's P.O.V.

I met Jasper several times, each time unnoticed by anybody, in the next two or three months - then it became impossible, since my stomach started to curve and he had been called away from Hartville. I did not know whether or not I wanted Jasper to know that it was his child... I still had to tell Charles.

I sat by the fireside and waited for my husband to come home. I was sure I would choke on the words, and I did not smile as I told him. "Charles, I am pregnant."

"Well, that is splendid news." He showed little enthusiasm, and only too soon I would get to know what it was that he cared about only: "Will it be a son?"

"I cannot tell, can I?"

"I hope for your sake that it will be." He smiled at me humourlessly, almost threateningly, and for the first time, I realized that the pleasant attitude he flaunted was nothing but a mask. "Because I want an heir, Georgiana, and you will give him to me."

"Maybe, but whether it is a boy or a girl is not mine to decide, and you will accept either one!" I said fiercely, standing up. I would not let myself be pushed into the role of the obedient, timid wife.

"You should hope for your own good that it will be a boy, for I will not let you rest until I have my heir!" He growled as he grabbed my wrist so firmly that it hurt.

"Let go of me!" I hissed and shoved him away. It dawned me only now: Maybe a life in shame, alone with my baby, would have been better than living with Charles Lacey. Only it was now too late.

...§...

29th September 1864

Charles has given up the last pretense of being a loving husband, and I fear for my baby. I do not think it will be a boy.

What will Charles do to a daughter? Women were worthless to him, and I think he would stop at nothing. I somehow know that Jasper, would he be in Charles' stead, would take care of me instead of carrying me around like a trophy, torturing and exhausting me. How I long for him... Hopefully he will return soon.