A Rose By Any Other Name (A Sasuke Uchiha Story)

Chapter 19.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was done fighting his.

The idea that they were there wasn’t exactly pleasing to Sasuke; but the more he had tried to repress them and push them away, the more of an affect they had on him and how he lived his life. He had come to see that if he accepted their existence, he had much more control over them, and his mind became clearer. He wasn’t lovesick and about to go all dopey—he just knew he wanted to protect her in a way he had never managed to do with everyone else in his life. Even if the l-word was starting to appear more and more frequently in his head when it came down to her. Sometimes it felt the only way to describe it, though each time Sasuke shook his head and forced the idea away. His feelings weren’t full-blown and overwhelming—love was a pretty strong word, after all…and he wasn’t about to be using it. But he still found himself making his way closer to her in any way he could. He knew that she connected with him—they couldn’t have similarities if she didn’t do the same things or have the same opinion. There were moments when she’d hesitate in her actions; that strong, firm shell she kept around herself to keep people away lowered, and Sasuke saw the real her. He’d see that she shared the connection, and a flicker of hope would automatically light within him at the idea that maybe he could break through. That maybe all of what he was feeling wasn’t as ridiculous as it sometimes seemed.

The only problem was that they were moments, and nothing more.

A second later and she’d close up again, pushing him further and further away. What got to Sasuke the most was that he could see she didn’t want it. He could see that she had to force herself to do all these things—so why was she adamant on keeping him at an arm’s distance? She confused him so much, and at times to the point where he doubted himself. He tried to figure out what it was that made her so desperate to stay away from him, but all it seemed to point at was him. What it was about him, however, he couldn’t tell. But then…maybe he was getting in over his head. He had said he wouldn’t let his feelings envelope everything, but maybe they had done so without him noticing. Perhaps he was so set on the idea, that his mind was altering everything around him—that she didn’t actually share the connection at all. That it was hard for her to force him away, because she felt bad for not feeling the same way about him. Maybe Sasuke was just getting too caught up in wanting to see her reaction and understanding how she felt.

But she couldn’t fake what he saw in those few seconds when she let her guard down.

At one point he even tried to talk to her about it; receiving the same rejection he got every time he asked her name, he had tried from a different angle, staying silent for a while before eventually merely bursting out,

“Why are you so set on keeping it all secret from me? Ok, maybe not telling me your whole life story…but not even your name? I thought we’d gotten past that hostile stage, but I’m beginning to think you were more amicable then! I—I at least thought you’d consider me a friend.”

Instantly she froze, glad her back was to him so she wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes. A small, bitter smirk flickered over her features as she contemplated his question, knowing that it was nothing to do with that. It was nothing to do with the idea that she didn’t like him—that she was being hostile. If anything, it was the complete and utter opposite. For a second longer she stood there in silence, not knowing what to say, torn between so many different thoughts and feelings. But knowing he wanted some form of answer, she finally breathed simply in response,

“It’s not about that Sasuke—it’s not about that at all. You don’t understand...”

Though she knew he would push this question again, and as such she walked forward, heading into the trees and the forest. Sasuke stood on the spot and watched her go, wondering what to do. Clearly she wanted to be alone, but he’d hit a sensitive spot there; she had left a clear trail for him to follow, even when he wouldn’t have much of an idea where to go if she travelled like she normally did. Contemplating allowing her some time to herself, Sasuke glared and shook it off. He wouldn’t let this go. She’d always said he was stubborn, and she was about to feel the full force of it; he had to discover the truth, and he’d dealt with this emotional turmoil for long enough. So as such, he set off to follow and find her.

She strode on ahead, her gaze focused on the path in front of her, but as a shadow fell over it, she clenched her fists and glanced up, holding back a sigh at the idea she would have to try and convince Sasuke to let this go. But as her eyes met the person standing in front of her, Sasuke all but slipped from her mind. Everything around her faded into blackness apart from him—because now she knew she had another problem on her hands.

And a much bigger problem at that…