The Interrogation of Granny Gertrude

The Accused

The Accused

Gertrude Stafford clutched the thick pearls around her neck and glared at the two officers seated across from her at the interrogation table. Her wrists were sore from the cuffs binding them. The chain between the metal rings rattled from the woman's fear or anger. Neither officer could tell which. The officer's police badges gleamed under the bright light above them as they shifted nervously and glanced at each other.

Something did not sit right with these two young men about interrogating an elderly woman for supposedly stealing a number of cats. Yet here they were, asking the woman as politely and respectfully as they could about her actions regarding the stolen neighbourhood felines.

It was like a bad joke, but no one was laughing.

Granny Gertrude, as she was affectionately known in Acorn Heights, did not seem the kind to commit any sort of crime. However, the entire community were pointing their accusatory fingers at the newest arrival to the neighbourhood.

Granny Gertrude and her husband Dan had gathered their possessions, sold their home of thirty years and moved to the quiet town of Summerhill. It was the town's small neighbourhood of Acorn Heights and its rich and pretentious people that had piqued their interest with themselves being of the same feather.

The story of the move, as Gertrude had told it to the officers, was that her and her husband were living a life in the kind of bustling and busy city that had never appealed to her personally. Dan himself did not seem to mind the idea of the change in scenery as long as his flat screen TV made it to the moving van. Gertrude was thrilled to finally be living in a place that she had always imagined to be in her later years. Picturesque hills with looming mountains in the background and tall trees bearing thick limbs and leaves of all the colours of summer - this was the vision Gertrude had always had in her mind's eye of her future.

Strangely enough Dan was not mentioned in this vision. Not once. She went on and on in front of the officers about the life she looked forward to in Acorn Heights and all the boxes it had ticked already, but Dan didn't even get a footnote. The officer on the left, younger and less experienced to Gertrude, made a note on his pad to have officers check on Dan Stafford at the house.

The officer to the right whom Gertrude had decided to name Bushy Brows, either from affection or rather annoyance at the situation, cleared his throat and spoke in a rough, rumbling voice.

"Mrs Stafford-"

Bushy Brows did not get long to speak as Gertrude cut him off with a shake of her head that sent her large oval earrings swinging.

"None of that," she declared. "It's Gertrude or Granny Gertrude. Pick one."

Both officers sighed in unison and shared another glance of exasperation before Bushy Brows spoke again.

"Alright, Gertrude it is. Can you tell me, Gertrude, why all the cat owners of Acorn Heights have suddenly found their cats missing? And why, might I add, have they asked us to bring you in for the charges of theft? Why is every one of these people accusing you of stealing their family cats?"

The shaking in Granny Gertrude's hands was worsening. She tightened her small fists to hide the tremours. Her eyes darted around the room as though she couldn't look the officers in the eye. It seemed that Gertrude's ability to lie was lacking in skill.

"I don't know why they're accusing me!" she yelled, losing control of the situation fast. "I came here hoping to be a respected new member of their community, and this is how I am treated? I baked cookies at the first neighbourhood meeting, you know?"

"Gertrude..." Bushy Brows started.

"And I bought lemonade at little Mitch Larkin's lemonade stand!"

"Gertrude..."

"I have done nothing but show kindness and respect, but these people-"

The second officer, who Gertrude had decided formerly to call Spineless due to his lack of participation from what was no doubt fear of her, finally proved her wrong and showed himself to be spineless no more. He slapped the palm of his hand down sharply on the table, causing a cracking 'slap' that resounded through the room.

"Mrs Stafford," he all but shouted. "We have had officers sent to your house already and at any moment they will return to this precinct and tell us what they have found. Will they tell us of the dozens of stolen cats that you have been accused of taking, Mrs Stafford?"

Granny Gertrude stared Spineless down. He stared back just as hard and briefly wondered if he had earned a new nickname. Gertrude's hands were again grasping at her pearls despite the limiting cuffs around her wrists. For a moment she did not say a word, didn't make a single movement and then... she burst into tears.