Aftermath

4.| Paths

It's been two days of no updates from the "Amanpulo Crew". It's been two days of impenetrable feelings. Two fucking days of not knowing what's happening, to them and to me. Noong nakaraan nga na may pictures akong nakikita, kahit puro mga kaibigan lang niya at mga ginagawa nila, para na akong baliw kakaisip sakanya, ngayon pa na wala ni ano mang bakas ng kahit sino sakanila. Can you imagine what I'm feeling?

I know where she is, I know who she's with but i don't know what they're doing! That's enough reason for me to go nuts! I don't know what to do. I can't follow her because i still don't know to  what level do i belong in her life now, or if i still have even the tiniest place in her life at all.

Yesterday, i was having my dinner in our house in Cainta when Dani sat in front of me, i looked at her and i saw sadness. Parang alam ko na 'to.

"Yes, Dan?" I asked her.

"Wala manong." She answered while looking at my food. I know, she just don't want to look straight into my eyes.

I tried to joke, "Tingin ka sa food ko! Gutom ka? Hahaha."

She looked at me and forced a smile. Malungkot nga.

I sighed. "Dan, i saw those pictures too. I'm sorry."

There's her forced smile again, "Okay lang. Maybe she really deserve this kind of privacy." 

"Dan..."

"Swerte ni Ate Miks no? Tibay ng support system niya." She said then stood up. I looked at her, she smiled and tapped my shoulder and said, "Sige, Manong. Akyat lang ako. Eat well."

After eating, i told mom that I will spend the night at my condo in BGC. I know she knows what I'm feeling, what's bothering me and who's bothering me but she kept mum about it. Even when i got home when i first learned that she knows Mika's back, i tried convincing her to at least give me some details but she refused. And i know it's her final decision about this issue. Maybe she respects Mika that much or maybe she's feeling guilty to what i did to Mika that she wanted to make it up to her by keeping her silence.

When i arrived at my condo last night, i realized it's a wrong idea to be alone. So i went out to ease my feels off. I went to the nearest bar and ordered something to drink. I saw some acquaintances and asked me to join them, i did for a while but after a couple of shots, i decided to go home. I don't want to be wasted. I just want the help of alcohol for me to sleep peacefully. Even just for a night. Though i wasn't able to sleep immediately, I at least didn't stay up all night thinking about her.

My telephone rang around 12:30 in the afternoon. I didn't answer but the caller is persistent that i have to get up and answer the phone. Only to find out it was Suzy.

"Sabi ko na nga ba, you're still sleeping!!! That's why i called your landline and not your mobile!" Suzy being the loudest in the group shouted. Imagine, she's the loudest tapos she's shouting pa? Double kill diba? I'm awake instantly.

"Labs! Ano ba?! Ang inggay mo masyado." I hissed.

"Wow! Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" She pa-sweetly said.

"No. Suzy woke me up with her piercing voice!" I retorted.

"Arte mo forever! I'm calling your mobile phone, you're not answering. I called your house in Cainta and you're not there daw, kaya i called you here." She explained.

"What do you want ba?" I irritatingly asked her.

"Ang burat mo kausap!! Snacks tayo?! Meet tayo sa Capitol Commons ng 3pm. Bye Labs! Labyu!" Then she dropped the call. Spoiled brat! Ano pang choice ko diba?