Ready Or Not

003. Not So Settling In.

"Shut up." Robin said, rolling her eyes.

"What I'm trying to say is, the betrayal spoke first, rationality came long after. Maybe just consider that.... After all, it does appear that she's staying here for the foreseeable, and she literally has nothing to her name." Robin added.

"She probably didn't mean any of it, Ed." Steve cut in, with a weak smile.

"But, that doesn't invalidate Eddie's feelings." Nancy reminded him.

"Of course it doesn't." Steve said, as though it was obvious.

"If any of you were in my position, would you have helped? Tell me honestly." I said, as the three of them seemed to consider the question quite deeply.

"And don't just tell me what you think I wanna hear." I warned, as Steve opened his mouth to speak.

"I'd have stayed well out of it. If I thought I was potentially gonna get any of the blame." Robin said.

"I'd have considered helping, but if they were running through the house with guns and knives, I'd have been questioning what help I'd have been, and perhaps what my odds were. Could I have gotten to any kind of weapon to defend myself for intervening, never mind to defend her." Nancy said, a little more in detail.

"Even if I'd been in your shoes and had the crazy idea of stepping into help her, we'd still have been outnumbered. They killed the help too, accidentally or on purpose, whichever, they still did, and I guess that would ultimately have swayed me. Plus, if I thought it was gonna get pinned on me, like last time, well I'd hope no one would blame me for keeping my nose and my hands clean." Steve said, finally.

"You're not just saying that because you think I wanna hear it?" I asked, not convinced.

"No. You were in a position to think a little more rationally, with more time. She didn't get much warning. Potentially, she's reflected a little and realises how big of an ask that would have been, to expect you to step into and help. Plus, you're focusing on your gender way too much. Regardless, you were scared too, don't overlook that." Nancy said, with a weak smile.

"Feel better?" Nancy asked, as I nodded.

"Yeah, a little. I guess I'm putting pressure on myself to decide if I made the right call or not." I said.

"Whether you did or not, it's in the past and you can't go back. You have to move forward now, man. Forgive yourself." Steve said.

"Shit, it's my round isn't it....?" I asked, glancing at the bar.

"You want me to go up for you?" Steve offered as I sighed and shook my head.

"I'm not wanting to look like that much of a pussy, Steve. But thanks." I said, before rising to my feet.

I approached the bar, my heart hammering in my chest, and as she made eye contact with me, she hesitated.

"Well, if it isn't Mr I'm Not A Hero. What can I get you?" She asked.

The groan of disdain that left my mouth, was almost too audible and palpable.