is there somewhere you can meet me? | kittyz/daerin

1

Hanni's head was resting on Haerin's arm, bodies covered in nothing but thin white sheets. She felt Haerin's fingers softly brush her hair and when she looked up, she can't help but notice how dashing the feline girl was. Her cat eyes and nose were touched by the sunlight seeping in the curtains and Hanni didn't know how it was possible for someone to look even more perfect than they already were.

Haerin stared back at her and smiled, "Good morning. did i perhaps wake you?"

Hanni shook her head.

"I wasn't really asleep for the last couple of hours."

"Now i feel bad cause i slept really well," Haerin frowned.

The other girl chuckled. If anything, what she loves about having sleepless nights is having to stare at Haerin fall into deep sleep. The sound of slow and soft breathing, with the feeling of their warmth pressed against each other took all of her anxieties away even just for a while. And if only the world would let her be more selfish, then Hanni wouldn't have to risk not sleeping only to feel that she spent time with her longer.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Haerin's phone suddenly rang and vibrated with her alarm sounding very loudly. Hanni hated that sound more than anything. Her heart skipping a beat every time. It was equivalent to 'time's up'. And again and again, she was reminded that these mornings with Haerin were just too good to be true. A borrowed time, outside of reality.

The fingers that were brushing Hanni's hair stopped midway and Hanni can't help but feel every twist in her chest. She knew this was going to happen. It wasn't something unfamiliar. But instead of her getting used to it, the more she hoped that one day, or one morning, Haerin wouldn't have to leave. That being with Hanni was actually what her normal day looked like.

"Oh shoot," the feline girl blurted out, reaching for her phone to turn off the alarm.

Hanni felt Haerin move and stretch, as if slowly lingering off the bed.

"Do you really have to go?" Hanni can't help but ask.

Haerin's lifted hand travelled back to Hanni's bare shoulders to cuddle her. She pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. Next, pressing her lips down to her collarbones.

"I need to, pham." she then whispered.

"But do you want to?" Hanni buried her head on Haerin as if anything she would do or say would stop the other from exiting her apartment.

"It's our anniversary today. Danielle would expect me to be around any time soon."

Danielle Marsh. Hanni wished her ears could just be ripped out from the mention of her name. She had no right to curse the other girl. Ironically, it should be the other way around. However, she knew deep down that Danielle didn't deserve Haerin in any way. Hanni couldn't even count the numerous times Haerin was drunk, calling or knocking on her door while crying in the middle of the night because Danielle broke up with her. And every time that happened, Hanni always saw bruises from Haerin from her habit of blaming and harming her own self as a way of punishment.

But it only took one call from Haerin's girlfriend for her to give in and get back together. It breaks Hanni everytime. That no matter what happens, no matter how she tries to ease Haerin's pain, Hanni was still running second in making her feel happy.

Hanni pulled herself away from Haerin and turned to face the ceiling.

"Hey. i'll see you sometime this week?"

"Uh huh," Hanni mumbled while closing her eyes, pretending to drift back to sleep.

She felt Haerin's weight against her chest, sending shivers down to her body. If anything, she was more frustrated with the fact that Haerin had to do these things to her, especially before leaving. Cuddles, pillow talks, soft kisses on areas that made Hanni weak, and randomly intertwining their fingers together. It can't seem to sit right on her head if all of these meant nothing for Haerin. If one moment, she lets an alarm stop whatever they had, and leave Hanni, only to come back when the reality she was living in was fucked up again.

Hanni guesses that Haerin seemed to forget that Hanni had a reality to face too. But that reality consists of her being already in love with the girl that can never reciprocate the same feelings caught in between their night rendezvous, and morning aftermaths. But who can she blame? Haerin had Danielle. Hanni can never win against Danielle. A beauty that stands out in a room, from a distance, and of course, in Haerin's eyes.

"Is there anything wrong?" Haerin gently asked Hanni, sliding into her fingers to play with them.

Hanni was almost begging in her head for Haerin to stop. Because she swears that one more heart-fluttering gesture from the other would result in her welling up already. It would be much easier for Hanni if Haerin just left like any other usual mornings from a connection with strings supposedly unattached.

"Haerin. It's time to leave now, or else your annoying alarm will ring again. And, i need to go back to sleep." Hanni didn't open her eyes. She knew tears would come out the second she did.

Haerin let out a small laugh, at the same time letting go of Hanni's fingers.

"Okay."

Just when Hanni thought Haerin had left already, she felt warm lips press on hers. All she could do was savor Haerin's scent at the last minute, and when she opened her eyes after, the other girl was already gone. All that left Hanni was an empty side of a cold bed, and her own discarded clothes lying on the floor.

She can't help but cry. Suddenly, the pain that was temporarily washed from the night she was with Haerin, came back all at once, yet again.