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Arc II - Many Firsts [Chapter 2: Dates]

Not sure if it's simply due to my inexperience, but his kisses become too demanding for me which makes me feel awkward. Thus, I signal to him that I want to stop, or try to, because he won't stop. Doesn't he understand what I want?

I push him away from me more forcefully, "Wait. Let's-"

His annoyed groan, which is immediately heard, causes my words to get trapped in my throat. Parallel to this, he pulls away from me anyway.

Tamamushi: "Shit Midoriya! Just let me have you already!! What the hell is so hard about it!?"

I'm in shock and don't know what to say.

Suddenly he starts fumbling with my belt to undress me.

Tamamushi: "Either way, you're going to let me..."

He then also leans forward again to force me kissing.

"Stop!", I skillfully free myself and jump up from the couch, putting enough distance between us.

"S-sorry, I-I...", my gaze goes towards the bathroom, "T-toilet. B-back in a minute.", and quickly put thought into action.

I hurriedly close the bathroom door behind me and press the lock symbol on the panel next to the handle. I step in front of the sink, lean with my arms on it, stare into the basin in trepidation and try to calm my shaky breathing. Needless to say, I don't actually need to go to the toilet, but instead was looking for an excuse to get some distance and time to somehow clear my head. Because what's just happened not only makes my heart clench uncomfortably but messes up the threads of my thoughts.

Have I sent out too many misleading signals to him? Have I stoked his hopes for more too much? Did I wrongly lead him down this path? Should I have rejected his advances earlier? At this moment, I curse myself once again for still being so inexperienced. With more experience in regard of sex, I certainly wouldn't have let everything go down the drain like this. I wouldn't have let it get this far, as I basically already knew that I wouldn't be ready yet to go all in now. Yes, I want to have sex with Tamamushi, but not today. It's still just too early.

Or am I making stupid excuses? It not only feels nice when we make out, but we've even kissed with tongue now. I was ready for that too, right? I shake my head symbolically, trying to unravel my thought knots.

But when he started tugging at my belt to go further, I panicked. Suddenly, everything inside me started to resist. That's reason enough to reject him now, isn't it, Kacchan?

I feel myself on the verge of tearing up because I'm overcharged with the situation. To counteract I quickly refresh my face with cold water.

If I hadn't withdrawn now, I would have done it later either way, and that would have been even worse. Tamamushi was already so angry that I didn't want to continue...If I had forced myself to let anything more happen, I would have regretted it in more ways than one.

I dab my face with the hand towel.

I'm having a lot of trouble understanding what has just happened. Above all...I get goose bumps all over alone from the thought...I've never seen him like this before. The fact that he reacted that aggressively towards me isn't even the worst thing. It's the look in his eyes. I'm shaking. I only caught it briefly, but there was something there. Something strange that startles me. My breathing goes uncoordinated.

I want to go home. Given our current mood, I'm sure he won't mind if I bring the date to a close now.

With the aim of apologizing to Tamamushi and politely saying my goodbyes, I walk towards the bathroom door. However, after just two steps, I suddenly feel weak on my feet, as if been drained of my energy. As quickly as possible, I move to the toilet and sit down on the lid.