Vampire Empire by Big Thief
Thérèse by Maya Hawke
Habits by Genevieve Stokes
<3
"Whose blood did it belong to, on your hands that night?"
"My own; believe it or not. You aren't asking why." "You already know I don't believe you, but fine. However, after your 'death' where did you go?" "Shit man, you said I have answers, and to what? D'you expect me to remember a literal decade later? What damn business do you have interrogating me about said and done things?" "Just calm down already. it really isn't that fucking deep and becides I asked the question first." "No you—" "Yeah, I did; remember when you came 'round pissed off with her friend." "I~ we shouldn't talk about it; especially not now and here. ...you do know, my Grandmother's fond of you. But I hate that a funeral is how you two meet. Um, like, if you ever need to talk, I'm here always. I mean, I'm not sure how close you both were, but you were friends, weren't you? At least that's what Mr. Robert said." "You could say that we were; he never much liked me though, I'd be threatened to be put in the ground for good often." "Hah, yea, that sounds like him alright." "I think those windows over there have a better view. Why don't we see for ourselves?" "Ow! That hurt, bitch! Why the hell did you drag me, I could've walked! And the hell did we need to be away from everyone, what are you gonna yap some insane news or some bull like that?" "I tried to be discreet. That friend she had, yeah she says there was foul play; d'you believe it?"
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Imagine if this book plot was the story of my life, like, what if this is how I die? What if one of them who's talking is my murderer? They're valuable enough questions because how would anyone really and truly know the answers? But also if we are all just characters, I'd love to give my writer a good~ punch in the damn face. Can my writer give me those answers cause I'd like to know thanks. But other than silly questions, that ending to the book itself.. damn. I'm not actually reading anything right now as I'm rather um busy but I still need to set some things straight. I'm not going to act like I'm desperate to make word count on my last minute essay that I totally had weeks to do and blab more than I need to here. No, that would just waste both of our time. So, I'll get to my real point presently; what you're getting into by knowing me or even just knowing of me. Hi, it's me, Eve; being my friend is an absolute shit show and playing my role is just shittier. Like, Lia's right:
My home life isn't great, but it's just how it is.
My house isn't the cleanest, but I'll help.
My family isn't the best, but I still love them.
My self care isn't good at all, but I make it worse.
My esteem isn't even to standard, but I don't care.
And I don't need to hear another "oh, sweetie, you need to find and receive real help~" no please don't ever start that bull on me; especially right now. I really don't need someone else to use my back as their target for knife throwing just because I told them for the first and last time personal stuff. Yet having said those things which are technically up to you, how you'll view them; another thing about me is the pure fact that I completely adore books. Books are my escape route. Since, opposed to sleeping to get away from real life 24/7 (which, don't make the mistake of thinking I don't love sleep 'cause it really is my second favorite thing to exist —of course books is the first.— but I have people to take care of instead of literally dreaming), reading allows running away to anywhere you can imagine. All the way from the dirtiest, jaw dropping, fist clenching, smut. To the cutest, in love, butterflies in your stomach, fantasies. Like if I really wanted, I could kill Thalia right now if I'm pissed with her again. Only if I were to write a book.. of course~ all this information so much so about my reader self that at one point my father took away books and music instead of my phone. Then said if he caught me reading stories or listening to music on my phone, he'd take the device away too. Though truth be told that day was the day I learned to become so much sneakier at my discreet craft. Fast forwarding a couple of frankly unimportant long ass rants later, now you're well into my very personal life I think and yet you are to know a few more things. Such as what my biggest secret is or as to what I'm truly doing. You and I, still being complete strangers, makes me slightly puzzled. Given how much you already know about me and my personal life. Having said previously adding onto knowing my biggest secret knowing of oneselves heavily guarded information tends to discard any leftover stranger danger barriers. And at this point there isn't much harm telling you mine. My worst fear is the monster in my head, but they're just acquaintances currently. Forget that, you're meaning to tell me everything I've said prior made sense except my last sentence? Alright then. Since I was little-little, the person I loved and trusted the most each year is always a serpent; who conspires with my demon. Yes, the demon who screams at me that I'm worthless and hideous inside and out, conspires with who screams at me the opposite. Funny, right? Occasionally I'll wonder if anyone else has a secret like mine, a fear like mine. Possibly but I hope there isn't. Anyhow saying and going on 'n on almost endlessly you should have a fair concept of how my mind works so maybe you know my next question. Can't someone tell me there's a lot to love about me just as much as there is to despise and 'fear' me? Dark auburn hair, green eyes with a gray tint, slight freckles, a smile that curls, my skin goes from pale to tan all the time, and while people say I look pretty in dresses I rarely ever wear them simply because I prefer my comfort over strangers approval. Sorry not sorry? But yeah I get it kid, I look a bit spooky or 'unnatural' sometimes.. You don't have to hide behind your caretaker; I promise I don't bite. —this isn't to be taken as the 'oh I'm so different' or the 'I'm not like the other girls' bullshit kind of way either. . However between us no one truly is exactly like anyone else even if you try your hardest to be.— All of this I know, trust me I do. So you don't have to keep telling me! ever heard of the rule where if the person can't change what you're about to comment on in 15 seconds or less, you don't fucking say it? Well maybe you should go back to kindergarten and receive a proper education this time. On behalf of America, our apologies that the school system has failed yet another person again! It's all alright though 'cause if you still wanna laugh, hopefully you find it funny when a person who can barely ever trust themselves states you should trust them. Because for the past 20 seconds you would've been laughing off your dumb ass. To top this all off, my family's place is a mess 'n unless I wanna say adios to my phone, it needs to be cleaned today. Adding onto the two weeks worth of studying I should've been doing for multiple subjects instead of practicing pointless things like thinking one day I'll get down playing When We Were Young by Adele on violin or simple fouettés, in full success. And that's just some of my stupidity. You know, it's weird having a narrative in my head or someone whom I'm speaking my thoughts to all the time, if they were to be real, I feel as if every move I make is judged such as right now. I can hear 'em already. "The way you present yourself changes" "the way you speak changes" when did that get to be a bad thing? "It's odd to be that way" well then, maybe it is; however, in the case you're making there's a lot more 'odd' humans out there than you may initially believe there are. Ignore me, or my silly little rants, or how I act, you wouldn't be the first to. I don't care that much anymore; I'm only gonna keep talking dude. If you leave, genuinely don't let the door hit you on your way out; shit closes fast. Alright, the people who care enough presently stayed, possibly not. So welcome or welcome back. Okay to help with all of this from my rant you can't seem to really escape, to help with all my tasks I can't seem to really escape, I'm lucky enough that Lia should be here soon to help out for a few hours. If she wasn't.. well I possibly would've finally lost it. I should clean myself up quickly since her arrival should be soon.
There it is, what I'm doing behind the curtain. If you didn't know already. However holy shit she's here already, fuck!
"Coming!" "Haha, Eve I know you aren't!!"
..how does she always know? Shit no you're just overthinking it. It's fine just pick yourself off the damn floor, put the case back on the damn phone and lower your stupid pant leg, and stop being a fucking baby!
"Eve, you rarely take this long, hurry! I'm literally dying in this hea—" I cut her off by opening the door.
"Where?" Lia asked.
"my dad's here Leah" at this point if it makes sense I used that one whisper yell for that
"..I mean where did you fall, clumsy. Be quiet bro don't deny, I know it's the only reason you ever take that long answering the door. Come on now let's get you some ice." All said with some sorta look of empathy so at the least she understood I guess. But, for once the one thing that wasn't actually overthought, it was the truth.
In reality we got popsicles out of the freezer, waited out my dad to leave, then once he left I could've 'I no no wanna' all I actually wanted but ain't nothing was gonna stop her from putting neosporin or some shit like that on the cut. "Thank you Leah" "stop thank me, e. You know I'm happy to help and comfort you anytime" ah, she's absolutely amazing. Also, she smells great. Okay, okay, I know the smell part is sort of a peculiar thing to say but as much as I hate when people say 'if you know, you know', in this case it couldn't be more true. When you love someone this much their scent is your new favorite smell. When I say that, you really do just know. Since a house isn't always a home, it's just where you go and feel safe, that smell is the scent of home sweet home. Not to mention that she looks absolutely beautiful too. I don't know how she or anyone else could think otherwise to any of this. Like, they're obviously wrong.
