Returned - Kenny x Reader

Resurrection Part One

"And she totally brought it back to life."

"No wayyy."

"I'm calling bullshit," the little one, Firkle, squeaked.

"It's not bullshit, it's the power of the occult. What are you, a poser? Don't you respect the dark powers?" Henrietta spat back through black lipstick. "There's a video, look it up. Besides, I'm an advanced enough witch to perform the ritual myself, and I convinced that mentally challenged guy Eric Cartman to pay me $50 to resurrect his stupid dead cat."

Mr. Kitty died? No way... Wait, this is fucked up!

I suddenly had a change of heart about skipping last period and booked it back inside the school. I narrowly avoided Mr. Mackey coming around a corner, and hauled ass for the cafeteria. It took way longer than just cutting through the goth kids to get to the back doors, but I couldn't risk them knowing what I overheard. Not til I talked to fatass.

His red jacket would have identified him if I didn't already know exactly where he would be. He was counting singles at the snack stand, loading up on discounted cookies and pastries before they closed at the end of the day and got thrown out.

"Yo, you got Little Debbie herself in that bag, too?" I asked him with a laugh as he shoved his hoard into his backpack.

"Screw you, Kinny, you're just mad cause your family's poor and the only general wealth in your house is when your grandparents give you their food stamps!" Cartman snarled, immediately flying off the handle.

I threw my hands up defensively, since I had a reasonable guess about why he was on edge this time. "Hey, sorry, man, I was just kidding. Hey, did something happen to Mr. Kitty?"

Cartman's face fell as he tugged his backpack zipper the final inch closed. "Y-you know about Mr. Kitty?"

"I thought I might've heard something about it." I offered a sympathetic shoulder pat, something I offered just as sparingly as when we were kids.

Cartman blinked a tear from his eyes and coughed, discretely wiping it away. "It's kewl, cause he's gonna be okay soon. They're gonna fix him."

"Huh?" I played dumb, seizing my opening for more information on what the goth kids were gonna do to Cartman's poor dead cat.

"It's a long story, dude. It took that fat emo bitch Henrietta like four fuckin' hours to explain it to me. Look, I'll tell you if it works, okay? But you gotta pay me fifty bucks. Fuck, it better fuckin' work." Cartman headed out of the cafeteria dismissively and I rolled my eyes.

Useless like always.

I heard my name over my shoulder and met the gaze of the snack lady, who wagged a cookie at me. "For Karen. I always save one last one, and the last bell just..."

Brrrng.

"Rang. Here."

I smiled as she handed me the cookie, shoving it in my parka's front pocket and heading out of the school.

I saw Cartman at school the next day, Friday, but then after the weekend, he stopped showing up for school. Fearing the worst, which would be Henrietta Biggle desecrating Cartman's cat's corpse before his eyes, I tentatively knocked on his door on my walk home from school.

"Fuck off, UPS guy, my mom's at work!" was barked from the other side of the door.

"Dude?" I did my best to project my muffled voice through the front door. "It's me, open up."

"Oh, hey, sup Kinny?" Cartman answered the door in his pajamas, looking otherwise normal. That's when I noticed the cat hair covering his clothes.

"Hey, man, I wanted to, uh, check in. Everything okay?"

"What kinda gay ass fuckin' question is that?" Cartman stuck his nose up.

I shrugged. "With Mr. Kitty, y'know."

"Mraaaow?"

I never thought hearing that stupid cat meow would send a chill down my spine.

"No, kitty, that's a bad kitty!"

I stood slack jawed in the doorway, watching Cartman talk to his very-much-alive dead cat.

"Is that seriously him? Mr. Kitty?" I asked gingerly, afraid of both possibilities.

"Oh, yeah, totally worth the $50 I paid that fat goth bitch to do it."

I grabbed Cartman by the collar of his pajamas and threw him down on his couch, slamming the front door closed in one fluid motion.

Being Mysterion pays off when Kenny needs to be agile and strong.

"Tell. Me. Everything." I barked the words out crystal clear, cutting off Cartman, whose mouth was open to speak.

I didn't give him any other option. He huffed and took me through the ritual that Henrietta Biggle did over Mr. Kitty's grave, and just like that, he was back to life, like he just miraculously recovered.

I didn't remember the walk from Cartman's to the Biggle's. Maybe it was a run, or maybe I stole a bike or something. All I know is that nothing was stopping me from getting to Henrietta Biggle.

Because Henrietta was going to get me to Y/N.

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eeeeek who missed me <3

i'm probs gonna update sporadically pls dont hate me hehe still so busy but making time for my hobbies again

this story will probably be faster paced and shorter than my other books