My Only Exception (gxg)

Part 22

What in the actual fuck do I do?

It seemed like the answer should have been obvious. To tell Emily that I wasn't going to break up with the woman I love.

However, the thought of letting go completely of my friendship with Emily destroyed me.

Emily has been my best friend for almost 10 years. She's been the only constant in my life, and before Poppy, the only time I've felt true, unconditional love.

Except now there was a condition.

And I had no fucking idea what to do.

The answer wasn't obvious to me.

"I have to think about this, Em. It isn't just a decision that I can make suddenly," I said to her.

"But you're considering it?" Emily asked me, and I swore I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"I...I don't know. I have to go talk to Poppy."

Emily's expression turned grim again, and she said, "You go do that. But if you want to still be best friends, you'll end it."

I stood up and looked at Emily, "I thought you wanted me to be happy and in a relationship."

"Of course I do. But I also didn't want to be lied to for months on end about said relationship."

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed, "I understand. I'll text you later."

Emily nodded, "Okay,"

I called Poppy in the car and asked her if I could come over again, and she said that of course I could.

Jesus fucking Christ. Why did I get myself in this situation?

I am such a dumbass.

When I got to Poppy's, we sat on her couch and she asked me, "What did Emily say? You look really upset, Delilah, talk to me."

"She was obviously extremely pissed off."

"As to be expected," Poppy nodded.

I paused before saying, "Emily said that to remain friends...I have to break up with you."

I could hardly look at Poppy as I said those words, because they were the last words that I ever wanted to say.

Poppy chuckled, "Seriously? She knows you wouldn't do that, right?"

"Poppy, it's complicated- "

Poppy's voice raised as she cut me off, "You wouldn't actually do that, right?"

I looked at Poppy and my voice came out hoarse, "I don't know what to do, okay?"

Though Poppy's eyes were glassy, her expression turned stone cold.

It was an expression I hadn't seen from her before, and it shook me to my core.

It was as if every single wall that I had broken down of hers was suddenly now back up.

"I'll make the decision for you," Poppy said to me, her voice wavering, "If you even have to think about it, I'm done. I'm not going to be someone's second choice, especially not to their best friend."

"Poppy, please don't do this," I said, feeling tears spring to my eyes, "I'm sure that I can figure out something out, just- "

"No. If you felt as strongly about me as you said you did, you'd tell Emily that if she was making you choose like that, your friendship would be over."

Something in me can't do that.

And I don't know why.

Before I could say anything else to Poppy, she said to me, "Please leave. Now."

I looked at Poppy, and tears were streaming down her face. She was making no effort to stop them, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her.

"Poppy, please- "

"No, Delilah. Go."

I knew that Poppy was dead serious.

So, the only thing I could do at that point was get up and leave Poppy's apartment. When I glanced back at her one more time, she had her head in her hands and was silently sobbing.

As I walked to my car, the tears started to flow, and they didn't stop the whole way home.

What the fuck is going to happen from here?

All I know is that right now, I absolutely hate myself.

And it's very well deserved.