My Only Exception (gxg)

Part 20

Poppy had set paper plates out, so I grabbed one and took a slice of pizza.

I took a bite of the pizza, really tasting the basil, and said, "This is delicious, wow."

"Agreed," Cara nodded, "I'm just really glad you didn't attempt to cook, Poppy."

"Hey!" Poppy laughed, "I could have made you some toast. That seems to be all I know how to make."

"Delicious, toast for dinner," I laughed.

Cara turned to me and smiled, "Poppy told me the nickname you have for her. I think it's adorable."

"Poptart?" I chuckled.

"I know Poppy likes to act like she doesn't love it, but I think she does," Cara said to me.

"Mom, I'm literally right here," Poppy said.

"I know, I know," Cara laughed, "Anyway, I heard the two of you are going to a concert in the beginning of May, that's exciting."

I smiled at Poppy, "I'm excited for it."

"Oh, I'm pumped!" Poppy looked at me, "Such a great birthday present."

"It was very thoughtful," Cara said to me.

Just like Poppy's dad was, her mom was incredibly kind. She had a very warm presence to her, and I could see why Poppy loved her so much and got along with her the best out of her four parents.

"Now listen," Cara turned to me, "I know you're in a bit of a dilemma."

"I hope you don't mind that I told my mom about the situation with Emily," Poppy looked at me.

"It's fine," I reassured her.

"I understand why you haven't told your best friend. It's a very sticky situation," Cara said to me, "Do you think Emily would be understanding?"

"I don't know, honestly. She's overall a very understanding person, but I'm not sure how she will be with this one. Especially once she finds out I've kept it for so long."

"I know you're doing that because you don't want any issues with your friendship," Cara said to me, "I hope she will be able to get past it, and you feel like you can be honest with her soon."

"I think I'm going to have to be," I said to Cara, "Thank you for talking to me about it."

When it came to Emily, I also had another dilemma. I wanted to tell her about the concert I was going to, but I was going to have to make up a lie that I was going with a different co-worker.

Should I ease into things and tell her it's a couple of other co-workers and Poppy?

I decided to do that. I wanted to see how she would react.

A week before the concert, I told Emily I was going, and that I was watching it with Diego, Laura, and...Poppy.

"Did you just say Poppy is going with you guys?" Emily asked me over the phone as I was sitting on my bed, petting Penelope, and she was driving home from work.

"She is. She really likes The Weeknd, apparently."

Yeah, apparently.

"I remember that she did," Emily said, "You're okay with her going?"

"I kind of have no choice. I'm able to be civil with her, I just won't sit next to her is all."

"Is she civil back to you?" Emily asked me.

"She is," I said, "I mean, I've been working with her for like, eight months now. I think we have this mutual understanding that we don't really like each other, but we're not going to be outright rude."

"That's mature of you both," Emily said to me. Then there was a pause before she added, "It would be weird if you and her became friends."

We're much more than that...

Once again, it was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell Emily so badly.

But instead, I said back to her, "Agreed. I don't see that happening."

"Good," Emily said in a brighter tone, "Now, let me tell you about this patient I had today, he was something else."

I spoke to Emily for a while longer, and when we hung up I decided to clean up my room a bit. I wanted to organize my desk area, and I figured after that I would play guitar.

As I was cleaning my desk, I found a journal from a couple of years prior. I was hesitant, but I opened it up and looked at what I wrote.

On the page, I simply wrote:

Will I ever find someone to love me with all my flaws? That won't abandon me? Seems impossible.

As I looked at the journal entry, I grew emotional.

I really thought I was that unlovable. I denied any and all relationships due to the fair of abandonment.

I didn't have that fear with Poppy.

When I went to Poppy's that night, I brought the journal with me to show her. As we sat on her bed, she looked at what I had written.

"What made you feel like you were so unlovable?" she asked me.

"I always had issues with my emotions and extreme anxiety from a young age, but I started to exhibit signs of being bipolar when I was newly 18. I genuinely thought that no one would want me because of my issues with that, and also thinking everyone under the sun would abandon me. It started with my dad, then my ex who went off to the military, leaving me in the dust. I truly thought it would be easier to not be in a relationship, ever," I said to Poppy, who had put her hand on mine.

"Well, I, for one, don't find you to be unlovable at all. I don't care about the fact that you have bipolar disorder. You have it, it doesn't define who you are. And I'm not going to abandon you. I'm certainly not going off to the military," Poppy chuckled at the last sentence.

I squeezed Poppy's hand, "Thanks, Poptart. It means a lot to me. I never thought it would be you, but I'm so glad it is."

"I should thank you as well. During my childhood, as you know, I was mentally abused by the awful man my mom was with, who she eventually left when she found out what he was doing to me and my siblings. So much of what he said is still ingrained in my mind. That I'm nothing. That I'm a failure. That I'll never amount to anything. You make me feel the opposite, Delilah."

"None of that is true. It never has been, and it never will be."

Poppy looked at me with adoration as she said, "Thank you, Delilah."

I smiled at Poppy, "You know, when we started working together, I realized I had met my match, at that point in time it was in a negative way. Now, I know I've met my match, but in a whole different sense. You're truly the one for me."

"I feel the same way," Poppy said back to me.

We hadn't said "I love you" yet. I believe we were both scared, but I knew I felt it for Poppy.

It was only a matter of time before I would tell her.