Diary, Updates, Appreciation

Day One <3

( start: 1:21 AM ) MIDNIGHT ) October 19 2024 10/19/24 )
This entry isn't very fun </3 but i'll make tomorrow's entry WAY more fun, this isn't very fun just cause it's me coming back yk i'm all melancholy and happy that i'm back YEAH so it's all gushy and dumb. I love you guys! i'll try not to waste ur time next entry <33
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I have no clue what i'm doing right now, but i just wanted to say yap, so here it goes HAHA.
I missed Wattpad and i would post some VERY dumb stories on here, and i hope you all do not remember, cause those were WACKY hhaah. I just wanted to say, thank you all for being so supportive of little younger me. As grew up, so much changed, and i'm glad for these changes, for now i get to see so much more. Thank ALL OF YOU so so much for all the memories! i loved all of your comments so much, and i'll create some new works for all of you soon.

My writing skills improved, and i mean IMPROVED, like LETSS GOOO! I am absolutely enamored of vocabulary, i am so infatuated with it. I genuinely will scroll through like dictionaries, no wonder why the football teams do nottt want me, im a little nerd. HAHA goodness gracious.

My tastes in things kind of like LEVELED UP in a way, while i used to be in love with old media, now i'm WAY more invested in it like sosoosos invested in it. I think i've been like investing so much time into vintage books and movies, because of how much joy they give me. I RECOMMEND LOOKING INTO IT! that's just my autism though, so beware HAHHA. Fuck i'm so awkward right now and immature i feel like i'm talking to people but i'm monologuing and shit. I don't sound this shitty when i'm writing books I PROMISE! I just wanted to like yap to you guys my bad HAHA and i went on a full on exterminating spree of most of the stuff on this profile cause it was so embarrassing, i was a wacky teenager.

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VENT )) TW: ( SKIP )
[ Life is hard, having to deal with severe mental illnesses, interferes with my life terribly. So many moments i spend my days, feeling myself detach from reality, an indescribable feeling, that transcends beyond this reality. Another threshold of this universe, far away from my current position in this world, another word, where i cannot guarantee my safety. Beliefs hold me tight to this universe, i hold hope that i cannot drift away as long as i don't dwell into falsehood.
These are just my thoughts, i find myself thinking things i shouldn't, i find myself acting more hyper than i am, just because i want everyone to feel safe around me. I feel empty, quiet, still. I feel like as if my life were coming to a halt prematurely.
My mind is years beyond my body is, and the very thing that betrays me?
My maturity. Some thoughts shouldn't be thought, but what is the use of ignoring it?
If i were born with a brain, should i not put it to use, and push my thoughts away, or shall i harness the power of my God-given human intelligence.
Well that's difficult. I stunt myself with my own thoughts, and i couldn't even write one of the many things i think of.
I think too deep for even my own self to handle. ]
[ My childhood had been a mess, my life is still currently a mess, so many terrible things happen, and as a result i am very very fucked up, but it will be okay.
It will be okay as long as i hold on.]
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YOU MADE IT OH MY GOSHHH MY HERO! IM SORRY I GOT DEEP
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As discouraging as it sounds, if you struggle with this too, it's a blessing too, there are so many genius things you can do someday, I encourage you to try your best to move past it, and use it to your advantage :)

I love all of you, thank you for growing up with me. We may be strangers, but i will always remember those sweet comments, i hope you all are living happy and fulfilling lives, and if not, that they will improve as you deserve them to <33
I'm still kind of a teen why am i acting like i'm fully an adult HAHAH, well shit i'm getting there! i'm pretty old anyways yehap
I'll post this for now! it's a little dumb but i'll post day two tomorrow im gonna post to this everyday and just yap to you guys cause why not it's been a while HAHA and then i'll eventually work on some tasty books for you guys i'll even take requests eventually and i'll write things of my interest!