A crusader crack fic

Hehehehehehehehehhehehe yay

Inspired but not in cooperation with Emilemil, Cptsuccess, NeetNooter, Ratgod, and any others who have made a crusaderverse story. I plan to have a fully independent story from the greater story these inspiring creators have made, but am more than willing to do small crossovers for the purpose of fun or a pointer from other characters. I have not read every single one of them either, I personally prefer Emilemil and Neetnooter's works, I find that Cptsuccess takes himself a little too seriously in his and have not gotten around to Ratgod's works. with that said, on with the bullshit as they say.

The thing about god, is that Sam did not believe in him. He figured it was possible for the big guy to exist but did not think that such a being was worthy of worship. That very thought process was likely to land him in trouble seeing as he was currently standing in front of the almighty, or at least one who claimed to be God.

God: Ah, please do not concern yourself with such trivial matters as your own worship or belief. I would not have given humanity free will only to punish non-belief.

God then calmly sat down at a table that wasn't there a moment before and drank from a mug that came with it.

God: For the moment, please sit. I have much to explain."

Sam took a seat, and took a drink of the tea in front of him, finding it perfectly made. He set it down and decided to ask his burning question.

Sam: So... what happens now? You judge me and then I'm sent to the proper afterlife?

God: Mostly correct, however you possess a rare soul mutation that means you have the potential for multiversal travel. Therefore I would like to offer you a job of sorts.

Sam: A job?

God nodded

God: Freelance really, occasionally I will call upon my crusaders for a particular mission but for the most part your only job is to wander the multiverse and have a net positive impact wherever you go. You would be given a system to assist you in your work, tailored to your specific personality and needs.

Sam: Sounds less boring than eternal paradise, I'm in.

God: Wonderful, where would you like to start? As a rule you start with a simple base of operations and some starter gear, at the location of your choosing.

Sam thought it over for a minute, his starting location would have massive implications for his overall growth. The foundation of his strength would be decided by this one moment and he wanted to make a good decision.

Sam: If it's a game... Can I ask for a modded version?

God nodded.

Sam: High risk high reward, I assume you know what I mean if I say I want my hardest modpack from terraria, right?

God: Of course.

Sam: One order of "get fucked mate" with a special request for maximum difficulty.

God: Good luck.

And then Sam fell on his ass in a green field.