Jaan-e-Jaaha

2-Gullabi

Sidrath's eyes locked with hers, and for a moment, she thought she saw something flicker in his gaze-regret, perhaps, or understanding. He spoke again, this time directly to her. "Shehnaz, I know this isn't what either of us expected, but... if this is the only way to protect you from further harm, I won't back away."

His words, though steady, hit her with a strange force. There was something in the way he said "protect you" that tugged at her, as if this was more than just about reputation for him. Still, the thought of marriage felt too overwhelming. She needed space to think, to breathe.

"Can I... have some time?" she asked quietly, turning to her father. "Please, Abbu... this is too much for me to decide right now."

Her father's face softened further, but there was a trace of urgency in his expression. "Theek hai, Shehnaz. Tumhare paas waqt hai, lekin bahut zyada nahi. People are already talking. We need to settle this before things get worse."

Shehnaz nodded and quickly excused herself from the room. As soon as she stepped into the hallway, the tension hit her full force. Her mind was swirling with thoughts. What was she supposed to do? Could she really go through with something like this-an arranged marriage to Sidrath? It felt like a nightmare she hadn't woken up from.

Sidrath stayed behind in the study, facing Shehnaz's father once again. He knew the gravity of the situation, but this wasn't how he had ever imagined things playing out. Still, deep down, he felt a growing sense of responsibility-an urge to protect Shehnaz from the storm that was building around them.

"I'll respect her decision whatever it is," Sidrath said quietly.

"Mughe yakeen ha" .

Behind her, she heard soft footsteps. She didn't need to turn to know who it was.

"Tum theek ho?" Sidrath's voice was low, almost tentative. He approached her slowly, stopping a few steps away.

Shehnaz kept her eyes on the skyline, avoiding his gaze. "How could I be okay, Sidrath?" she whispered, her voice barely audible above the breeze. "I never thought something like this could happen."

Sidrath stood there, watching her, the tension in his shoulders visible. "Mujhe pata hai... I didn't want this either." He took a step closer, his voice more firm now. "But I can't let your reputation-our families' names-get dragged through the mud."

Shehnaz clenched the railing tighter, her thoughts swirling. "But this isn't just about reputation, Sidrath. It's... it's marriage. I'm not ready for that, and neither are you."

Sidrath let out a heavy breath, running a hand through his hair. "I know. But sometimes we don't get to choose when things happen. We just have to deal with the situation in front of us."

She turned then, her eyes meeting his for the first time since the conversation began. His gaze was steady, but there was something else there-something softer beneath the surface.

"And what about us?" she asked, her voice wavering. "Do you really want this? A marriage with me, just because of some rumors?"

Sidrath didn't answer right away. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them, his eyes locking onto hers. "Shehnaz, I don't want to force you into anything. But if this is what it takes to protect you-to make sure no one questions your honor-then I'll do it."

For a moment, the silence between them was thick with unspoken thoughts. The wind ruffled her hair, and she let out a slow breath.

"And what about love?" Shehnaz's voice was soft, almost a whisper. "Is this what love is supposed to feel like?"

Sidrath looked away for a moment, as if considering her question. Then, he met her gaze again. "I don't know. But I do know that I'll always stand by you, no matter what." His voice was steady, carrying a promise, even though it wasn't the answer she wanted.

The next day, Shehnaz's father left for his work abroad. He had spoken to her briefly before he departed, his tone businesslike yet concerned, reminding her that Sidrath would be around to ensure she wasn't alone. Shehnaz nodded absently, but her mind was still heavy with everything that had happened. The house felt too quiet after her father left, the emptiness echoing in every corner.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Though Sidrath had tried to engage her in conversation, Shehnaz had barely touched her food, her appetite nowhere to be found. She pushed the plate around half-heartedly, while Sidrath silently noticed her lack of enthusiasm. He didn't push, though-it wasn't like her to open up easily, especially after the whirlwind of events.

Afterward, she retreated to her room, but sleep wouldn't come. Hours passed, the house cloaked in stillness, but Shehnaz's mind refused to settle. She tossed and turned in her bed, her body aching from the familiar cramps that came with her periods. Frustrated and irritable, she finally got up, slipping out of her room.

Clad in her pink night suit she went quietly down the stairs, she made her way to the kitchen. The cool light from the fridge cast a soft glow over the room as she rummaged through it, finally grabbing a tub of ice cream. She climbed onto the kitchen slab, spooning the dessert directly from the tub, a soft pout on her lips as she ate in a grumpy mood.

It wasn't long before Sidrath appeared, drawn by the faint noise of her spoon clinking against the bowl. He was dressed casually, his hair slightly tousled from sleep, and he blinked as he adjusted to the light.

"Shehnaz?" he said, his voice groggy but laced with concern. "What are you doing?"

Shehnaz glanced up at him, her lips forming a small pout. "I'm eating ice cream," she muttered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She paused for a second before adding, "Because I feel like it. It's my...time of the month," she said, her voice carrying a touch of annoyance.

Sidrath raised an eyebrow, leaning against the doorframe. "So ice cream at midnight?" He couldn't help but smirk slightly, though there was a softness in his expression

"Hann koi masla" she looks at him annoyed.

She stared down at the ice cream, suddenly feeling like it wasn't enough-nothing felt right.

"My stomach hurts so much," she muttered, her voice trembling slightly. "And I don't even like this flavor of ice cream!" She dropped the spoon back into the tub, staring at it with a mixture of annoyance and helplessness. "Why didn't I get the chocolate one instead? I just... I just want things to be normal again!"

Shehnaz's voice cracked as she looked up at Sidrath, her eyes filling with tears. "Why can't anything go right for once? Everything is so messed up, and now this stupid ice cream..." Her words trailed off as the first tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly looked away, trying to blink them back, but it was too late.

Sidrath, who had been quietly listening, saw the shift in her mood instantly. He leaned in a little closer, his eyes softening as he noticed the tears falling silently. "Shehnaz..." he said gently, his tone cautious but caring.

She tried to wipe her eyes, but more tears followed, spilling over as the frustration and pain she'd been holding back finally broke through. "It's just-everything feels wrong. My father's gone, this whole situation with us, and now my stomach is killing me, and I can't even eat the ice cream I want without feeling like I'm losing it."

Sidrath didn't say anything at first, letting her vent. Instead, he slowly reached out and gently placed his hand on hers, grounding her in the moment. "Hey, it's okay," he whispered. "You don't have to hold it all in."

Shehnaz shook her head, her emotions running wild. "I just... I don't know how to deal with all this," she whispered, her voice breaking as she looked down at her lap.

Sidrath watched her carefully, his thumb brushing lightly over her knuckles. "We'll figure it out," he said softly. "One thing at a time. And, if you want, we can go find that chocolate ice cream. Right now."

Despite herself, Shehnaz let out a weak laugh through her tears. "At midnight?"

Sidrath smiled. "Why not? It's never too late for ice cream. And you deserve the flavor you want." His tone was light, but his gaze held the sincerity she needed.