You Told Me Think About It (Pierce The Veil & Of Mice & Men Fanfic) SEQUEL!

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Ellie’s POV

Warped tour was over almost two weeks ago now. And I’m still sleeping on Kellin’s couch. But it’s a sofa bed and very comfortable so I’m ok with that. For those two weeks, I haven’t moved off this couch except to get alcohol, food or to pee. I’m pretty sure Kellin and Ari are getting a bit pissed at me now. All I do all day is lie on the couch, crying, moaning or just sitting there silent. I just can’t help but keep thinking about Jaime; what he’s doing, how he’s doing… all the things I used to know so well. Oh god… the tears… Kellin popped his head round his bedroom door, sighing once he saw me buried in even more tissues.

“Ellie come on. You need to get out.” Kellin comforted me, hugging me after he sat down. “It’s been weeks since you even ventured outside and having the curtains closed all the time doesn’t help the eyes.” Kellin joked. Somehow he always put a smile on my face, even when I was in the darkest moods. And yes, for over two weeks I have not allowed anyone to touch the curtains. I haven’t even looked at myself in the mirror. I am hopeless and worthless without Jaime. Urghh, everything that has ever happened to him is my fault. I hate who I have become.

“What you thinking?” Kellin asked, turning Adventure Time off. I moaned and tried to repossess the remote; failing dramatically. I shrugged, snuggling under my blanket. “Ellie, you can tell me.” I looked Kellin in the eyes, mine brimming with even more tears. I just can’t stop crying, it can’t be healthy.

“I don’t know…” I whispered, leaning on the arm of the couch, away from Kellin. People keep asking me how I am, what am I supposed to say? I’m fine actually. My life is the best it’s ever been? Everything is confusing and mixed up. I don’t understand who I am anymore. All over twitter I have been receiving so much hate even that can bring me down for about a week. Such comments like ‘what you did to Jaime was selfish and you deserve to die.’ They hurt. It aches. Everything hurts. Everything makes me want to give up sometimes. It’s not the first time I’ve had these thoughts. But I know I am stronger than them. Normally it gets better, this time I’m not too sure. I just don’t think this will get better.

“Anyway, Ari and I are going out soon, so behave.” Kellin chirped, poking me, making me squirm. I believe it is night time then. I mean no one really goes out on dates during the day, well not these two. I don’t know the difference between morning and night anymore. It’s all merged in to one long day where I never sleep. But I don’t care; I have other things on my mind.

“What time is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. Kellin laughed, kneeling down in front of me.

“Ten pm. You should seriously get some sleep.” Kellin ruffled my hair before standing and going back in his bedroom. He closed the door behind him. I searched around under my blanket for my cider; they were all empty. Sad face… Getting up, I heard muffled shouting coming from the bedroom.  I’m never normally nosy, just Ari and Kellin rarely fight.

“You know, she really is in need of help. Help we can’t provide her with.” Ari’s mumbled voice said. I heard someone sigh. As I crept closer, I felt rude. This conversation was about me, I’m sure of it.

“I’m her friend Ari, she needs me. If she went someplace else, I know what she would do.” Kellin defended.

“But she is like a freaking hermit. She doesn’t move off that sofa all day and night. She cries all the time and uses all our booze up. Not to mention the curtains are always closed. Kellin she is a wreck and you know she needs to get out of here. Take her somewhere. Please.” Ari tried to beg. I don’t know what was worse, Ari complaining about me, or Ari turning her back on me. It’s not my fault. Is it? If I ruin their relationship…

“I’m sorry Ari, I can’t let her go.” Kellin said. Ari sighed again, more frustrated this time.

“What was that supposed to mean?” Ari questioned, obviously seeing some other meaning behind it. “I knew having an ex in the house was going to cause trouble.” Ari complained. I could just imagine what was happening in there. Kellin never shouted at anyone really. He only screams onstage and lets his anger out through his music.

“But Ari...” Kellin’s voice was soft and kinda hurt. I can only feel that I am obviously not wanted and that I am starting to ruin their perfect relationship.

“Kellin, she has to leave.” Oh… I see how it is. The door opened. Kellin stopped when he saw me. Ari’s mouth dropped. I nodded and walked away, grabbing my belongings as I went. I didn’t have much so that was a bonus of getting out of here faster.

“Ellie wait!” Kellin called after me. I opened the door, gave a small smile then stepped out in to the hall. I know when I’m not wanted. Sliding my phone out, I debated on who to call. No one has contacted me, not even Jake. I have no one now, absolutely no one.

It was dark when I stepped outside, obviously. The dim yellow glow of the street lamps lit up the sidewalk. What to do? Live like a hobo seems the only option right now. Everything was wrong with the world. All I wanted was someone to care for me, but I messed that up. More than once. What if Jaime never forgives me? What if no one ever accepts me? I can’t deal with that. All the people in the world hating me. My eyes filled with tears. I slid down a wall, covering my face. If only I can say I’m sorry again. I just need a little hope. I’m asking for people to just get over this. I need to redeem myself, but I don’t know how. I just want to scream until there’s nothing left. Stand on a roof top apologising to everyone. But I know his mind is made up. My phone vibrated in my hand. I felt like a freak, obsessing over my phone as if it were a child, but this is my first message in weeks.

Vic: I can’t forgive you for what you have done until Jaime does. I hope you realise that. But Jaime is missing again and this time he is in a real bad place. This is your fault. Redeem yourself.

Oh god. When Jaime goes missing and is in his state, then god only knows what his is doing.

Me: OK, do you know where he would be? He could be anywhere here. There are some places where I know he could be, but I feel as if I don’t know him anymore.

Vic: I don’t know. You know him better than any of us Ellie.

~OLA!!!!!!!!!!!! So this is another chapter obviously. Just needed to skip on a few weeks otherwise this story would go on forever!!!! I'm sad to say, that in the next two or three chapters this story will be finished. I'm not going to say my goodbyes until the lasst chapter. But dont worry i wont leave, ill keep writing other things. Im saving everything else im going to say for later. THANK YOU FOR THE VOTES, KEEP DOING THAT PLEASE. And the commetns and follwoing me! Love you guys!! Natty OUt ;;~